LAUGH LINES
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Bye-Bye: DaimlerChrysler has announced that the Plymouth brand won’t be produced after 2001. “DaimlerChrysler regrets the inconvenience this will cause the three people who still buy Plymouths.” (Gary Greenfield)
The World of Politics: “[George W.] Bush is not the only candidate having trouble with names. In a pop quiz last night, Steve Forbes could only name three domestic wines.” (Jay Leno)
Pop Quiz Time: Former President Bush was in Germany for the 10th anniversary of the collapse of the Berlin Wall. “He’s the George Bush who actually knows what city the Berlin Wall is in.” (Daily Scoop)
Planning Ahead: “Tipper Gore testified recently before the Senate Committee on Aging. She was forthright. She said baby boomers must start thinking about retirement, especially if they’re running 18 points behind Bill Bradley in New Hampshire.” (Argus Hamilton)
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The Essential
David Letterman
Top Things You Don’t Want
to Hear at a Bus Stop
9. “Maybe if the bus gets in a big accident we’ll be on the news.”
8. “Since we’ve been standing here, I’ve swallowed 19 tokens.”
6. “Lucky for me I don’t have to go through a metal detector.”
3. “Do I smell eggy?”
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