Want Fries With That Customer?

So where would a cannibalistic space alien with removable ears choose to settle down?

In Costa Mesa--at least on last Sunday’s episode of “The X-Files.” Yes, the weirdo actually chooses Harbor Boulevard over Hollywood Boulevard.

The creature works at a fast-food stand called Lucky Boy where a would-be customer becomes one of his meals.

Before the humanoid can discover the delights of South Coast Plaza, though, Scully and Mulder burst into his apartment and gun him down. The ending would have packed more drama if the two agents had been accompanied by an Chihuahua that said, “Drop that chalupa!”

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A BRIEFS LOOK: Something I never thought I’d find on sale in the Nixon Library & Birthplace in Yorba Linda: an illustration showing Richard Nixon in his briefs. It’s in the book “Richard M. Nixon and His Family Paper Dolls,” by Tom Tierney. And it includes various costumes that can be superimposed over the cutout dolls of the late president and his family. Historians agree that he didn’t really put on his street shoes before his suit pants (see exhibit above).

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES (Ext. 77083), by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.