Alleged Mercy Killer Is Charged With Murder

A 75-year-old retired Navy officer who says he was following his terminally ill wife’s wishes to help her commit suicide was charged Thursday with murder.

Deputy Dist. Atty. Robert Madruga said none of the written messages left by Hazel May, 69, who suffered from Lou Gehrig’s disease, mentioned suicide. Madruga also said the couple’s three grown children insist that their mother never mentioned wanting to die.

Arrested Saturday at the couple’s home in upscale Del Mar Heights, Tom May told police that his wife wanted him to end her suffering. They had been married 46 years.

Bedridden and unable to feed herself or speak, Hazel May had communicated with her husband by scribbling notes. On one of the notes, in block letters, was the word “HELP,” and beneath it was a word that appeared to be “DEAD,” court officials said.

May told police that he gave his wife an overdose of sleeping pills through her feeding tube and then placed her in the car. He apparently hoped to commit suicide and sat beside her as the garage filled with fumes, police said.

After passing out, he awoke and spoke by telephone to his grown children, who hurried to the home and called police.

“I appreciate that the Mays’ children are in despair, grief and anger because they believe this was not what their mother wanted,” said Deputy Public Defender Mary Jo Barr. “But there is a kind of communication between people who have been married this long that not even their children can comprehend.”

State law does not permit so-called mercy killings.

“If we say this is OK, where do we draw the line?” Madruga asked. “Is it OK for couples married 20 years? Fifteen years? What level of disability is required? Forty-eight hours to live? A headache? These are the problems we have.”

May is being held without bail at the downtown San Diego jail, where he is being treated for depression and being kept away from other prisoners for his safety.