LAUGH LINES
Politics, Part I: “Al Gore has taken his consultant’s advice to dress in polo shirts and loosen up at public events. He’s even asked God for help. While campaigning in California recently, he had a near-life experience.” (Argus Hamilton)
Politics, Part II: “Pat Buchanan has begun notifying supporters he will make a major speech on Oct. 25 in which he is expected to announce that he will leave the Republican Party and seek the Reform Party nomination. But insiders are not ruling out the possibility that he is simply going to announce that he’s invading Poland.” (Colin Quinn)
Politics, Part III: “Bob Dole stood on stage weeping as his wife, Elizabeth, withdrew from the presidential race. They stay married because they have a lot in common. They like to spend quiet evenings together working on their concession speeches.” (Hamilton)
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The Essential David Letterman
Other ways CBS is pushing the envelope:
10. Every week on “60 Minutes,” Morley Safer holds up a gas station.
8. “The Young and the Restless” now 20% more restless.
3. Martha Stewart teaches Pat Buchanan how to build stenciled clapboard wall to keep out foreigners.
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