CHRIS DUFRESNE’S TOP 25

1. Florida State (7-0): There could be be more Bowdens than buckshot in Clemson this weekend.

2. Penn State (7-0): All-powerful Paterno tries to ban Purdue players from talking to reporters.

3. Nebraska (6-0): No lie: Tom Osborne called Rankman last week to defend Lawrence Phillips.

4. Florida (6-1): Golf whiz Spurrier hopes to shoot a 68 (points) against Georgia on Oct. 30.

5. Tennessee (4-1): Vols disappointed to learn they have to check tutors at the Alabama border.

6. Virginia Tech (6-0): Hokies plan Midnight Madness gala for next week’s first BCS rankings release.

7. Georgia Tech (5-1): Hey, Joe, a guy with Heisman hopes should not be duking it out with Duke.

8. Michigan (5-1): Carr ends QB controversy by naming Brian Griese to start against Illinois.

9. Kansas State (6-0): Background check reveals 300-pound RV, um, RB Joe Hall to be Christian Okoye.

10. Marshall (6-0): OK, repeat after Rankman, “We Are This Year’s Tulane.”

11. Alabama (5-1): After 69 years, Tuscaloosa lifts Draconian “Orange Laws” and allows Vols to play in town.

12. Michigan State (6-1): Nick Saban checks into an anonymous “Sideline Decorum” 12-step program.

13. Mississippi State (6-0): A chance this week to send LSU Coach DiNardo down the muddy Mississipp’.

14. Georgia (5-1): It’s Kentucky this week, then that showdown against Visor Man and his Gators.

15. Texas A&M; (5-1): Oklahoma books rooms for visiting Aggie fans in Norman at the lovely Bates Motel.

16. Purdue (5-2): Brees relieved to hear Liz Dole has also dropped out of the Heisman race.

17. Texas (5-2): Nebraska hits Austin, hoping to make short work of Longhorns.

18. Wisconsin (5-2): Is it Rankman, or do the Badgers have more lives than the Mets?

19. Brigham Young (5-1): Las Vegas police brace for incoming band of rowdy Cougar fans.

20. Southern Mississippi (4-2): After awful performance at Denver, Favre returns to alma mater for fantasy league refresher course.

21. Ohio State (4-3): Cooper named employee of month for correctly picking score in Penn State loss.

22. Miami (2-3): To better monitor incoming hurricanes, Weather Channel moves headquarters to Orange Bowl press box.

23. Minnesota (5-1): In a shocker, Gophers quit Big Ten to join the Reform Party Conference.

24. Arizona (5-2): Rankman extremely impressed with rousing comeback win over Texas El Paso.

25. Notre Dame (4-3): Pssssst. Kim Dunbar is out of the slammer, and she has free tickets to the Navy game Oct. 30.