Lawyer’s Aide Who Takes No Meal Breaks

It probably won’t come as a shock when I tell you that among a group of attorneys meeting in Las Vegas there was at least one heartless character. Of course, this attendee was a robot. The “Star Wars”-type creature, employed by L.A. lawyer William Graysen, tottered around the meeting room, carrying Graysen’s fliers and business cards on a tray. Just to show you that the android paralegal was almost human, it also carried Hershey kisses.

DEVIL OF A SIGALERT: Radio station KNX-AM (1070) got a traffic tip Tuesday from none other than Cardinal Roger Mahony, who warned of an accident on the Hollywood Freeway at noontime. “The cardinal says that it’s slowing traffic from Benton Way,” said traffic reporter Donna Page.

FAITHFUL TIPSTER: It’s not the first time Mahony has given KNX a traffic advisory.

Several years ago, now-retired reporter Bill Keene announced that Mahony had phoned from his limousine to report an accident on the Ventura Freeway.

Keene subsequently received a note from Mahony, who said that he had, in fact, been riding in a “10-year-old sedan.”

Another time, Mahony phoned the station to say that a reported vehicle fire on the Ventura was “just an overheated car.” Other tipsters phoned the station, taking issue with Mahony, but Keene later admitted, “I wasn’t about to correct a cardinal.”

GHOSTS AND GOURDS: Since Halloween and cemeteries go together, Forest Lawn in Cypress is inviting people to give pumpkins lifelike faces (see photo).

TEARING DOWN THE ORANGE CURTAIN: OC Weekly, not a big fan of things L.A., includes in its “2,000 Guilty Pleasures” issue KLON-FM (88.1), the jazz station at Cal State Long Beach. It declares that KLON, “along with KCRW-FM (89.9) and KPFK-FM (90.7), constitute a kind of Radio Free Orange County.”

THE INFORMATION SUPER-FREEWAY: Entertainment magazine publisher Harry Poe is obssessing over his end-of-the century issue in the comedic novel, “Who’s Hot / Who’s Not,” by Sherwood Kiraly.

The strain is getting to Harry, who picks up an alcoholic panhandler on the San Diego Freeway on his Laguna Beach-to-L.A. commute and more or less orders her to become a member of the staff. She has no experience in journalism, but Harry likes her grumpy spirit on their commutes.

But she’s reluctant to give up her own profession, that of professional car passenger. After all, she’s gone to all the trouble of creating a sign to hold at freeway onramps: “Gotta Get There Fast? Use a Carpool Companion! $30.”

Meanwhile, there’s the dilemma of the magazine’s “Hottest 99 of the Century” list. They have to consider everyone from Christ (“He’s big in any century,” as one staffer puts it) to Fess Parker (TV’s “Davey Crockett”).

A matter to be hashed out on the 405.

miscelLAny:

Regina Kirschenbaum of L.A. points out that one television network picked the wrong spot for a bus bench message that says, “Wouldn’t you rather be sitting on your couch?” (see photo).