Pathway to the Middle Ground

It’s a typical situation.

A new couple move into the neighborhood. Unlike yourself, they have no children. But they do have a dog. And he barks--loudly--day and night, to the point where your children are losing sleep. And you ask them to do something. But the dog is like a child to the new neighbors. They’re insulted. They tell you where to go.

You call the police, complaining of noise.

They call the police, claiming harassment.

Your mother-in-law’s already fragile health is deteriorating from the tension caused by the nasty comments and animosity.

Even the police are starting to get short-tempered because there’s nothing they can do.

It’s a typical situation, one that the Orange County Human Relations Commission’s Dispute Resolution Program based in Santa Ana deals with on a daily basis.

The program offers, at a minimal cost--often waived--a more positive alternative to taking disagreements to the overburdened court system.

In the case of the noisy neighbors, the dog owner agreed to have the pet trained, and they both agreed to start acting civilly.

Anyone with a dispute can contact the commission and ask it to help resolve the problem. Volunteers will contact the other party in the dispute and try to set up a mediation session. The only requirement: Both parties must be willing to settle their dispute through the mediation process.

“I really believe there is value to solving your disputes through effective communication,” says James Armendaris, 44, of Tustin, a volunteer for about two years. “There’s a lot of uncertainty in not knowing what [a judge] is going to decide. Being a part in the final decision takes away a lot of that uncertainty.”

The program trains people from all walks of life--law students, teachers, business owners, nurses--to be dispute mediators. Not all will become volunteers at the program; many take the course simply to improve their workplace management skills.

“I think you have to have the heart to want to help people,” Armendaris said. “I get a lot of personal satisfaction from helping people.”

And the program does help. More than 50 calls are received each month, and only about one or two a week actually require a sit-down meeting because many of the disputes are handled over the phone.

Program coordinator Alfonso Clarke says the program’s focus is to reach a solution that meets both parties’ needs. “It’s not like the court system, where one person wins and the other loses,” Clarke said. “It’s understanding the other person’s needs that leads to mediation.”

“It’s not what they agree on, it’s that they agree,” Armendaris says. “You need to make sure that both sides are hearing each other. That’s where the skills really come into play.”

The Dispute Resolution Program: (714) 567-7470.

Chris Ceballos can be reached at (714) 966-7440.