Gathering of Clan Eases Stewart Loss

This was supposed to be the worst part of a difficult week.

We had already heard from golfers, from the commissioner of the PGA Tour, from private jet pilots and from National Transportation Safety Board officials in the wake of Monday’s Learjet crash that killed Payne Stewart.

We hadn’t heard from the people his death affected the most. We hadn’t heard from his family.

His wife, Tracey, and children Chelsea, 13, and Aaron, 10, stepped into public view for the first time Friday at a memorial service attended by an estimated 3,000 people.

Instead of dragging everyone deeper into sorrow, their presence helped make everyone feel better.

Tracey did not falter as she shared her recollections of Payne. Her eyes were ready to unleash tears and she paused for a few sniffles, but she found an inner strength to continue through her tribute to her husband. Her Australian accent made her sound even more dignified.

She spoke of what was gained by his presence, not what was lost by his death.

“I feel that I have been blessed by God,” she said. “I thank him for allowing me to share the last 18 years of my life with Payne.”

Tracey Stewart told a love story, their love story, simple and pure.

Their eyes first met from across the room at a cocktail party during an event in Australia. They did not actually speak to each other until a few days later.

“I didn’t even know what his name was,” Tracey said.

All she knew was that he was the most beautiful man she had ever seen.

“From the night of the first date, I can honestly tell you, that this was the man I wanted to share my life with.”

She described how full and rich Stewart’s life really was. He saw their daughter serve out 14 of 15 points in a junior varsity volleyball match recently. He saw all three touchdown passes their son caught in the Pop Warner football league this season.

The fuller picture of Payne Stewart developed Friday.

The hard facts were laid out on a table beneath the stage in the huge church sanctuary. There were pictures and portraits of Stewart with his family. There were the silver trophies for the U.S. Open (which Stewart won twice) and the PGA Championship, plus the gold Ryder Cup that Stewart and the United States team won in such stirring fashion last month. There were private artifacts, including his glasses, his harmonica, his Bible and even a box of Rogaine.

His friends filled in the gaps.

Chuck Cook, Stewart’s golf coach, told of the time at Pebble Beach in 1992 when a bartender didn’t believe that Stewart was the Payne Stewart. Stewart made him a wager that if he could produce the U.S. Open trophy the bartender would have to fill it with the drink of their choice.

Stewart had the trophy, which he had won the previous year, and he wanted to see it filled with Cristal champagne.

The bartender “was the only guy I know who wishes he hadn’t met Payne Stewart,” Cook said.

Cook and Stewart took the U.S. Open trophy to the 18th hole that night, plopped it in the sand, sat on a retaining wall and talked long into the night. Even though Stewart won’t get to defend his 1999 U.S. Open title, Cook will go back to Pebble Beach, the site of the 2000 championship.

“I’m going to go sit on that wall and I’m going to talk to my friend,” Cook said.

Before Paul Azinger shared his thoughts with the congregation, he slipped on one of Stewart’s trademark caps and rolled up the pants of his suit and tucked them into knee-high argyle socks to mimic Stewart’s famous knickers. Azinger’s attire was so appropriately inappropriate that the mourners couldn’t help but respond with an act that also is normally out of place at such a function: They applauded.

Azinger talked about the time Stewart almost blew up his house when he tried running his fishing boat’s outboard motor in the garage. He told stories of Stewart’s wayward casts with a fishing pole.

He also talked about the progress Stewart made as a person.

“For many years it seemed like Payne Stewart was first in Payne Stewart’s life,” Azinger said. “But long ago that began to change. We all saw his pride and occasional cynicism and sarcasm begin to soften.

“Payne became gracious in victory and gracious in defeat. Only God can do that, because only God can change hearts.”

It should not be viewed as a coincidence that the resurgence in Stewart’s career came after he de-emphasized golf and began focusing on his faith and his family.

Golf is funny that way. If you try to crush the ball, you’ll knock it into the woods. But a nice, easy swing will send the ball sailing down the middle of the fairway.

Stewart had learned to relax and let everything come to him. His life seemed complete at age 42.

It’s young to leave, but doesn’t every death seem too soon? You can live to see your children grow up, but you might not live to see the grandchildren or the great grandchildren mature. The journey never finishes before time expires. Stewart appeared to be at such peace, his life devoid of hardship, that maybe this was the best time for him to go.

He certainly could not have asked for a grander send-off.

The services featured an orchestra and a touching video tribute that producers and editors at the Golf Channel worked on until 4:30 Friday morning. The First Baptist Church looked closer in size to Pauley Pavilion than your neighborhood house of worship.

Eighteen television trucks parked outside to beam reports around Orlando and the country.

More than 80 professional golfers--including such luminaries as Jack Nicklaus, Sam Snead, Greg Norman, Tiger Woods, David Duval, Phil Mickelson, Mark O’Meara, Hal Sutton and Justin Leonard--attended. Play in the two PGA Tour events being held this week--in Houston and Madison, Miss., was suspended Friday so players could attend the service. They lined the aisle after the ceremony, and greeted and consoled the family members as they made their way out of the church.

(Young Aaron seemed more excited by the sight of his football teammates, the Panthers, who all wore their blue jerseys to the service. Aaron broke through the line to slap five with a couple of friends.)

For all of the golfing greats and other notables (such as Orel Hershiser) in attendance, the star of the day was Tracey Stewart. Her poise and her words are the lasting impressions of the service.

After thanking some close friends and “all the people everywhere for their heartfelt prayers and sympathy,” she turned her attention to her husband.

“Finally, I thank God for Payne,” she said. “We shared laughter, tears, victories and defeats. You will always be my soul mate and my best friend. You are the light of my life. I admired your compassion for people and your talent that you were gifted with. You used it well. You were a friend to so many, and I thank you for the joy you brought us. You are the light of my life and my tower of strength. You’ll live in my heart forever.

“I thank you, Payne, for telling me every single day of my life that you loved me. I knew it already, but it sure was good to hear you say it.

“I realize that even after 18 years of marriage, Payne was still the most beautiful man I’d ever seen. Not because of the way he looked on the outside anymore, but because of what was on the inside.

“We love you . . . let the party in heaven begin.”

J.A. Adande can be reached at his e-mail address: j.a.adande@latimes.com.