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Section Gee! Advice, Humor, Comics, Horoscope, Kids : LAUGH LINES

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Foreign Affairs: Secretary of State Madeleine Albright is working with Hanoi on a trade deal that, if it goes through, would mean President Clinton will go to Vietnam. “Better late than never.” (Argus Hamilton)

State of Mind: Puerto Rico voted to maintain its commonwealth status rather than seek independence. Under a commonwealth, residents pay no federal income taxes but are eligible for federal benefits. “It’s the Willie Nelson plan.” (Hamilton)

Getting With a New Program: Monica Lewinsky has signed up with Jenny Craig. “What does Monica need to go on a diet for? She already lost 200 pounds by dropping Bill Clinton.” (Kenny Noble Cortes)

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You Knew It Was Coming: General Mills is marketing Millenios, a cereal to honor the turn of the century. “Not to be outdone, Kellogg’s is working on ‘Special Y2K.’ ” (Bob Mills)

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Paul Ecker’s Essential

Daily List

New show names when CBS and TV Land become part of one company:

* “The CBS Evening News With Bob Newhart”

* “Barnaby Jones Says the Darndest Things”

* “The Late Show With Mr. Ed”

* “Everybody Loves Raymond . . . and Lucy”

SEND US A LINE: Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.

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