THE COURT FILES / ANN W. O’NEILL : Desperately Seeking Susan? Not This Time

A social slight, a costly scent, some “Reckless Abandon” and the rules for girls and boys.

You are cordially uninvited. Sorry, but we invited too many people. Can you come to another event later? That’s the gist of a letter sent to Whitewater figure Susan McDougal by Nancy Hoffmeier Zamora, president-elect of California Women Lawyers.

My, oh my. What would Miss Manners say?

McDougal, famous for refusing to tell the Whitewater grand jury about her business dealings with President Clinton, has been making the rounds lately on the rubber chicken circuit. She was tapped in May to address the lawyers group at its 25th anniversary dinner Oct. 2. Then, last week she was unceremoniously dumped.

The disinvite has so riled Beverly Hills lawyer Nina Marino that she recently resigned from the group’s board of directors. In her resignation letter, Marino says Zamora and others deemed McDougal, who spent nearly two years in jail, “too controversial” to share a podium with the other featured speaker, Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.).

Marino’s letter says she called in several favors to secure McDougal’s appearance and line up sponsors. She thought it would make great publicity. Only later, the letter says, was she told that McDougal wouldn’t do.

Zamora did not respond to a phone call seeking comment. McDougal, who was traveling to a speaking engagement in the Midwest, could not be reached. But her lawyer was quick with a quip.

“Susan does seem to have problems with women named Nancy,” said Mark Geragos. He reminded us that McDougal was acquitted last year in Santa Monica of embezzlement charges filed by her former employer, Nancy Mehta, the wife of conductor Zubin Mehta.

A WHIFF OF MONEY: The state Court of Appeal has given the green light to Bijan Fragrances’ breach of contract suit against Prince Jefri, brother of the sultan of Brunei.

The prince, otherwise known as Haji Jefri Bolkiah, and his son, Prince Hakeem, tried to get the lawsuit tossed by arguing that the court papers were served improperly under the Foreign Sovereign Immunities Act. Superior Court Judge Richard P. Kalustian disagreed, and the princes appealed.

The appellate panel upheld Kalustian’s decision, saying the dispute stemmed from the princes’ personal business dealings with Bijan.

“There is nothing in this record to support Prince Jefri’s and Prince Hakeem’s suggestion they should be considered integral parts of the government of Brunei Darussalam simply because of their blood relationship to the sultan,” the court wrote.

The original dispute concerns the princes’ $48-million deal with Bijan to develop a line of fragrances for a high-end resort hotel planned in Brunei. Court papers say the princes also agreed to pay Bijan $10 million to create personal fragrances for Jefri and his three children.

The princes put down a deposit of $24 million before the deal fell apart. Bijan, based in Beverly Hills, is suing for $21.5 million more that it claims it’s owed.

So the rich really are different from the rest of us. They smell much better.

OPTION THIS: It’s a given in L.A. that everybody is working on a screenplay. But what to do if your writing partner kills herself and her actor husband, and your work winds up in the tabloids?

Sheree Guitar sued her agent for $1 million.

Guitar says in her Los Angeles Superior Court lawsuit that her agency, Preferred Artists, sold “Reckless Abandon,” a screenplay she wrote with the late Brynn Hartman, to the tabloids without consulting her. Hartman, the wife of Phil Hartman, fatally shot him and herself at their Encino home in May 1998.

WHERE THE BOYS ARE: It’s a man’s world at the law firm of Haight, Brown & Bonesteel, according to a wrongful termination lawsuit filed recently in Los Angeles Superior Court. Legal secretary Kathleen Schroeder, who worked for the firm for nine years before getting fired a year ago, paints the picture of a jock-snapping, testosterone-soaked office culture.

The firm’s chairman, Gary Ottoson, disputes this description, saying HB&B; has long been known as a female-friendly firm. In recent years, he said, the firm--with offices in San Francisco, Santa Monica, Santa Ana, Riverside and San Diego--has hired far more female associates than males. It was ranked top in the state for parity in a July 1996 article in California Law Business, he said. And 42% of the firm’s lawyers are women, as are 14 of the 49 partners, he added.

Nonetheless, Schroeder charges, a locker room atmosphere was pervasive, fueled by dirty jokes and naughty e-mail. Her suit also contends that one lawyer displayed graphic pictures of elephants in flagrante on his computer screen-saver and that an interoffice e-mail called “Simple Rules Chicks Don’t Know” was circulated.

A copy of the “rules” was included among Schroeder’s court papers. Here’s a sampling of some of the more printable ones:

“Sometimes he’s not thinking about you. Live with it.”

“Don’t cut your hair. Ever.”

“If you don’t dress like Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.” And so on.

Shortly after she complained and named names, Schroeder said, she was canned--allegedly for misusing e-mail. The lawsuit claims that the firing was retaliatory and seeks unspecified damages.

A Simple Rule Dudes Don’t Know: Never put your frat boy jokes in writing.