They’re Waiting as Fast as They Can

Who says people are in too much of a rush to sit still these days? A not-infrequently asked question by visitors to the Ronna Schary Photography studio in Westwood is whether they can have their picture taken while they wait. Easier than photographing them when they’re not there.

BULL’S-EYE! The news that the Mars orbiter is presumed lost reminded me of a suitable receptacle snapped by Alan Gilbert in Hollywood a while back (see photo).

SPEAKING OF RECEPTACLES: In case you didn’t know, it’s not against the law to urinate in public in the city of L.A.

Yet!

Perhaps such a law wasn’t needed in the old days. Anyway, the City Council’s Public Safety Committee agreed to ask the council to approve a new law allowing citations to be issued to people caught relieving themselves in public.

I’ll never forget the time I saw an elderly man peeing against the northeastern corner of City Hall in full daylight. I’ll resist commenting on the symbolism.

OOH, LA COUNTY! What do Cannes and Pomona have in common? Why, movie festivals, of course. Pomona’s (Nov. 12-14) is called Smogdance.

Categories this year include “Inland California Filmmakers,” “Animals and Plants,” and “Spanish-Language Films Made in the U.S.A.”

As if the romantic lure of Pomona isn’t enough, festival promoters are luring entrants with this pitch:

“After a bite of our popcorn [free to all contestants], the food at those drab Hollywood parties won’t taste the same. And who else has NO ENTRY FEE!”

A REAL MOUTHFUL: Lois Hirt, indefatigable columnist for an L.A. Dental Hygienists Society publication, has compiled a list of recent mentions of hygienists on television:

* In the TV movie “Love Struck,” the mother of unmarried hygienist Emily wants to arrange a date for her with a frequent office patient. “Mother,” she complains, “you are trying to fix me up with a man whose biggest selling point is bad oral hygiene.”

* In “The Young and the Restless,” hygienist April kills her wife-beating dentist husband and gets off without any jail time.

* An episode of “Anything but Love” was titled: “It’s Better to Have Loved and Flossed.”

* And, finally, the highest tribute of all: In “Jeopardy,” “dental hygienist” was the answer to this $800 question: “The person in this job can remove plaque and tartar and explain flossing but can’t drill.”

CAF OR DECAF? “Even old Jaguars come with extras,” quipped Vince Rojas after he spotted this invoice for an auctioned car (see accompanying).

DECOMPOSITIONS: Ann Farmer, who recently retired as a teacher at Whittier College, came across the following freshman composition gems as she was cleaning out her desk:

* “Sexuality should be condemned to the home.”

* “He graduated Summa Cum Larde.”

* “There was a multiple city of items.”

Then there was the freshman essay placement exam that was labeled an “S.A.”

miscelLAny:

I heard a radio ad for an herb concoction that is supposed to help “men conquer sexual issues.” At last! Maybe if I take that herb I’ll know whether it’s proper for a man to hold a door open for a woman in the workplace.

Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.