LAUGH LINES

Billing Bill: “The decision . . . in the Microsoft case is expected to cost Bill Gates billions of dollars. The billionaire said he will be appealing the decision, which marks the first time Bill Gates has ever been appealing.” (Craig Kilborn)

Two of a Kind: “Al Gore has vowed to make campaign finance reform one of his top priorities. Isn’t that like putting Whitney Houston in charge of band rehearsal?” (Jay Leno)

In the Dough: “Krispy Kreme Doughnuts went public with millions of shares of common stock. And that’s in spite of negative predictions from market insiders who claim the chain’s long-term plans have too many holes.” (Ira Lawson)

*

The Essential

David Letterman

Top Bad Titles for

College Application Essays

8. “D’s = A’s: My High School’s Complex Grading System”

7. “Gross Things I Did to Food When I Worked at McDonald’s”

5. “Why the Admissions Director Loves His Car and Wouldn’t Want Anything Bad to Happen to It”

3. “Faith Hill: She’s a Good Singer, but Is She Really a Diva?”

1. “One Year in College, Then Hello, NBA!”

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.