Advertisement

Postcards From the Ledge

Share

A house in the Hollywood Hills is the ultimate address for a party. The decks, balanced on toothpicks, have magical views. But every time I set foot in one of the superbly decorated, gravity-defying homes, I am on edge, unable to stop worrying about quakes, mudslides and collapsing decks. It finally happened, though not to me. My friend Retta (a one-named comic) has been in bed since April 8 with a dislocated ankle and a bottle of Vicodin, unable to do stand-up, ever since a deck gave way, leaving her under a pile of 40 people.

Even though she fell only 4 1/2 feet, she wrote in an e-mail, “it felt like we were dropping forever.”

“There was a premed student there who was not only drunk but thought that a semester of bio and chem gave him the authority to fashion a splint for my mangled ankle. Clearly he was on crack and was asked to remain a safe distance from me before I placed my good foot where the sun don’t shine.”

Advertisement

I expected her story to end with a diatribe against stilt-houses, rotting decks and the Hollywood Hills in general, but instead, in true single-girl fashion, it ended with dashed romantic hopes.

The paramedics were, of course, babes. (It’s a variation of Murphy’s Law: Embarrassing situations always attract good-looking rescuers.) Which is why the trip back up the hill was almost as terrifying for Retta as the fall.

“There’s no scarier feeling than hearing a paramedic yell, ‘Be careful, fellas. These steps may go!’ ” she wrote, and all she could think was, “I am to perish while falling down the side of this Hollywood hill . . . and I haven’t gotten a single phone number!”

*

Here’s a summer wardrobe note for Dennis Rodman: A pebble-grain bikini made from basketball leather and a dress fashioned from basketball trading cards are two of the items to be featured in a celebrity fashion show Thursday. Organized to promote the launch of the NBA’s online store, the show will be cybercast live from New York at 4 p.m., Pacific time, at https://www.nba.com.

Actress-singer Tatyana Ali, rapper Ice Cube, hip-hop singer Eve, actor Jerry O’Connell and the N.Y. Giants’ Jason Sehorn have signed on to model the one-of-a-kind pieces created by fashion designer June Ambrose.

After the show, through Sunday, the clothing will be auctioned on the site, with proceeds going to charity.

Advertisement

“The NBA really gave me free rein,” said Ambrose, who has styled music videos for Missy Elliott and Sean “Puffy” Combs. “The rapper Eve is going to be dressed as a futuristic cheerleader, and we are painting a [Michael] Jordan jersey on a model’s body.”

I don’t know about that, but I would take a pair of strappy Shaquille sandals and a Kobe caftan, please.

*

E-mail: booth.moore@latimes.com.

Advertisement