To Protect and to Serve a Piece of Pie

Reader Jody Fox sent along this hot item from the Laguna News-Post:

“A Laguna Beach woman called police from Los Angeles to say she had left a pie in the oven and asked to have an officer go to her home and turn off the circuit.”

The cops did so. The pie was not taken into custody.

HOUSE CALLS (CONT.): I phoned Laguna Beach Police Sgt. Greg Bartz to ask about this service.

“I’d say it’s probably happened about a dozen times since I’ve been here,” said Bartz, a 27-year veteran. “People call from airports or out of town and say that they left the iron on or they left water boiling on the stove and could we go check. We do that for people. We’re a small town.”

He estimated that in about half the cases, the residents’ fears were justified.

The cops obtain permission to break a window if necessary to enter the house. Bartz recalled one instance in which a vacationer feared water was boiling on her stove. (She was correct.)

“We broke the window, but it was a small window,” he said. “I was with two young guys and they were about two feet wide. I knew neither one would fit. So even though I was the old guy, they pushed me through.”

REVOLUTIONARY CHURCH SERVICE: Alan Silverman noticed a marquee in Culver City that was sure to inspire a few jokes about the nearby People’s Republic of Santa Monica (see photo). Readers Andrea Cohen, Nathan Walpow, and David and Sonny Harris also spotted the sign.

RELIEF FOR PARCHED DINERS? Jeffrey Berry of Lakewood came upon a restaurant which appeared to be lacking some of the basic amenities (see photo). Actually, the bottom sign means the eatery plans to sell water and ice in containers.

LETTER IMPERFECT: Attorney Robert Warren surveyed the spelling in a letter advertising a Dun & Bradstreet “Career Accelerator Workshop” and wrote to this column: “I certainly was ‘suprised’ ” (see accompanying).

BAD CONNECTIONS: Critics won’t be taking GTE’s name in vain anymore. Why not? GTE has disappeared. Through a merger, the oft-criticized utility has become Verizon.

But before we hang up on GTE, let’s play back a few of its more spectacular snafus, including the times it:

* Listed Fullerton attorney Linda K. Ross under “Reptiles” in a Yellow Pages directory, a goof that prompted jokes by Jay Leno and a lawsuit by Ross.

* Unwittingly pioneered the concept of the unlisted city when it failed to publish the home numbers of Sierra Madre residents in its Sierra Madre directory.

* Omitted names starting with the letter “Z” in its Cerritos/Lakewood/Long Beach directory. (Another case of GTE catching some Z’s?)

* Published thousands of unlisted numbers in directories that were made available to telemarketers. Then, it sent some customers two notes--one saying their numbers had been published, another saying they hadn’t been published.

(Sound of dial tone.)

miscelLAny:

A colleague of mine was on jury duty at the downtown Criminal Courts Building when officials announced over the intercom that someone had been caught with a beer inside. The jury candidate had apparently been quaffing the brew in a restroom. Odor in the court! Odor in the court!