LAUGH LINES

Sticking It Out: “A New Jersey woman is doing fine after accidentally gluing one eye shut with Krazy Glue. . . . The woman thought she had a bottle of eyedrops in her hand, [but] it was Krazy Glue. . . . Here is a future Palm Beach voter if I ever found one.” (Jay Leno)

Reel Versus Real: “I get so confused watching the Fox network now. . . . I mean, with Robert Downey Jr., you just don’t know where ‘Ally McBeal’ ends and ‘Cops’ begins.” (R.J. Johnson)

Just Charge It: “Microsoft is reportedly paying Madonna $42.6 million for the rights to Webcast her London club show. Actually, it’s $2 million plus the Ticketmaster surcharge.” (Daily Scoop)

Proceed With Caution: “A watchdog group has come out with its annual list of the most dangerous toys this Christmas. . . . And the most dangerous toy this holiday season? . . . It’s the Sing-Along Kathie Lee doll.” (Andrew Wisot)

Dangerous Stunt: For “magician David Blaine’s latest stunt . . . he [was enclosed in] a 6-ton block of ice in New York City’s Times Square. . . . The Brooklyn, N.Y. native faced a number of potential health dangers--including death. [It’s dangerous] not because he’s encased in ice, but because he’s in New York City.” (Mark Wheeler)

A Little Confused: Regarding “Robert Downey Jr.’s latest drug bust: Poor guy. He must think the Betty Ford Center is a time-share.” (Daily Scoop)

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