Jordan Airs Out Frustration With Wizards

As a player, Michael Jordan was seldom frustrated. Now he says he has never been more frustrated. His frustration stems from being president of operations for the woeful Washington Wizards.

“It’s a totally new experience for me,” he told Jay Mariotti of the Chicago Sun-Times. “I haven’t been like this in a long time, since I had a fight with Steve Kerr in practice.

“Instead of playing to win, these guys play not to lose. They are totally scared, and it’s embarrassing to sit there and watch the game. I understand why the fans boo.

“You should see me. . . . I’m cussing at the TV; I’m not handling it well at all.”

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Trivia time: When did USC have its last undefeated and untied season in football?

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Please come back: Jerry Greene of the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel suspects this phone call has already happened: “Hello, Michael, this is David. David Stern. So did you hear about [Mario] Lemieux returning to the game? Yeah, probably going to save the NHL single-handedly.

“Yeah, too bad we don’t have an owner who could step in and do the same thing, heh-heh. Michael? Michael? Must be a bad connection.”

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Wondering: Ron Rapoport in the Chicago Sun-Times: “I’m not too sure about this business of Lemieux playing for the [Pittsburgh] Penguins and owning them at the same time. The employees own United Airlines, you know.”

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Simple, isn’t it? Norman Chad in the Washington Post: “The Redskins can clinch a wild-card berth if Tampa Bay loses its final two games, New Orleans loses its final two games, Detroit loses its final two games, Green Bay loses one more game and Joan Lunden gives birth to an ostrich.

“The Bengals are in the playoffs if the league reverts to its 1973 standings.”

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Slow delivery: From comedy writer John Klima: ‘Best wishes to former Dodger catcher Todd Hundley, who signed with the Chicago Cubs.

“We’ll never forget the fight in Wrigley Field when he threw a punch that took two bounces in the dirt before it hit the guy.”

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Gutsy performance: From Track & Field News: “Mark Crear, as it turns out, won his Sydney silver [in the high hurdles] with a pair of hernias, one in his belly button, the other in his lower abdomen. He had surgery on both in early November.”

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Trivia answer: 1972, when the Trojans were 12-0 under Coach John McKay and won the national championship.

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And finally: Randy Galloway in the Fort Worth Star-Telegram: “Finally, total financially irresponsible behavior has come to Arlington. Ain’t it wonderful?

“I don’t care if the team really needed pitching more than the best player in the game. . . . Rejoice and order another round of tequila. The Rangers are officially The Team That Killed Baseball.”