Seattle Fans Make Sure That This Is Not a Pretty Site

“I’d rather be honest than fake,” Alex Rodriguez writes on his Web site, rationalizing his recent reworking of the famous Vince Lombardi line: Winning isn’t everything, it’s not even in the ballpark when you’re talking a quarter of a billion dollars.

So you come to https://arod.com seeking truth and you gain knowledge instantly, learning in a matter of moments that the Seattle Mariners never had a chance in the A-Rod sweepstakes, and neither did the New York Mets, because those teams win and the Texas Rangers pay and “I think the money at this point is very important to me because I want to take care of my family and the people I love. Winning is a close second . . . but I have to look out for my family first.”

Mariner fans could have saved themselves a lot of grief by logging on any time during the past five months and reading comments posted by Rodriguez in June that tipped his hand and punched his ticket out of Seattle.

“If you’re asking me if I’d rather have $100 million and lose, or have no money and win a World Series,” Rodriguez wrote then, “I’m sorry, I want to take care of my family. I’d rather come out candid. People that know me know I’m not money hungry. One thing I don’t want to do is come across as being fake.”

That’s the $252-million paragraph, right there.

That’s the smoking gun, five months before the bullets were purchased.

A-Rod was outta there, faster than a speeding Griffey, because he would rather be honest than fake, and he would rather be richer than the base value of 18 individual big-league teams than to play for one that has won a pennant (the Rangers never have) or even a playoff series (the Rangers never have).

Money can’t buy you love, however, as you learn by shuttling over to https://arod.com’s message board, where visitors to the site, many of them enraged Mariner fans, are asked, rather foolhardily, for their “take on the Rangers signing Alex.”

“A-Rod = A-IDIOT” begins one posting.

“BETRAY-ROD” starts another.

There are venomous allusions to “A-Fraud” and “Pay-Rod” and this from one gentle reader who politely writes:

“Dear Mr. Rodriguez, I would just like to tell you that I think you are an idiot.”

There’s a “Top 10 Reasons A-Rod Left Seattle” posting, which includes:

* Playing for a contender wasn’t much of a challenge.

* Ranger owner Tom Hicks offered to be his personal chauffeur.

* He wanted to pitch also.

* Buying a team out after he bankrupts them seemed like a good idea.

There are e-mailed conspiracies among scorned Mariner fans on what to do when the traitorous Rodriguez returns to Safeco Field next season.

One, lacking creativity if not bile, proposes booing him: “Just remember him talking about the name on the front of the jersey versus the name on the back. . . . He lied, and he’s talking trash like it is the Mariners’ fault. . . . Don’t welcome him. . . . He is now the enemy.”

Another vetoes that idea: “Boos are boring . . . and would probably only jack him up. I like the idea of total silence instead, except people are too agitated over his phoniness to shut up.”

Another suggests scrapping the scheme altogether because “Payrod won’t show for the first game in Safeco! He will have a pulled hamstring, bad back, hemorrhoids, anything so he won’t have to look anyone in the eye. He will say he got hurt in spring training! I hope I’m not right. I say bring him on!”

Spend 10 minutes scrolling through these screeds and you quickly arrive at one or all three of the following conclusions:

1) A-Rod needs to spend some of that $252 million on a few Web site editors.

2) How much would it cost to pay someone to read his e-mail to him?

3) He’s a Quarter-billionaire. You think he cares?

Actually, according to his Web site, the Marquis de A-Rod does consent from time to time to respond to queries from the e-rabble. A recent exchange, posted before the move to Texas:

Q: “Alex, Alex, Alex . . . What are you doing? Seattle loves you. You’re one of the best players of all time. You’re the guy people love to LOVE! You’re the All-American son. So what’s with all the demands?? . . . Let’s hope you don’t become the guy people love to hate.”

Alex: “What I’d like to tell my fans is this: Tomorrow, somebody, like an AP writer who is 24 years old, may write about speculation that I want a submarine. And if I don’t get a submarine, I won’t go to Seattle. I can’t answer that. If people are going to believe everything they read, that’s out of my control. I can’t concern myself with all that.”

Ah, to be young and working for the wires and dissed by baseball’s richest player.

Alex Rodriguez, submariner?

Don’t be ridiculous.

The correct wording, as we should have known all along, is: Alex Rodriguez, ex-Mariner.

The news is less than a week old and already the move is having a crippling effect on e-commerce, at least that being attempted at https://arod.com. Click onto to A-Rod’s “My Store” today and take advantage of these stock liquidation prices:

* Alex Rodriguez Signed Sleeveless Seattle Mariner White Jersey: Was $499.95. Now marked down to $399.96.

* Alex Rodriguez Signed Sleeved Seattle Mariner White Jersey: Was $499.95, now $396.96. Sleeves thrown in for free.

* Alex Rodriguez 8-by-10 Photo (pictured in Seattle Mariner uniform): Was $69.95. Now slashed to $55.95.

Holding steady is the Alex Rodriguez Seattle Mariner Bobble Head Doll, suitable for batting practice all around the greater Seattle-Tacoma area, still fetching $14.95 online. Same for the Alex Rodriguez 2000 MLB “Bammer,” a toy bear in an A-Rod Mariner jersey stuffed with beans, still going for $11.95.

(Stuffed Scott Boras doll to count the beans not included.)

And for $14.95, kids seeking inspiration and valuable life lessons can buy Alex Rodriguez’ “Hit a Grand Slam” book--aptly titled, in retrospect--in which our hero “shares the truths he learned on his way to the top and encourages young readers, above all, to strive to do the right thing.”

And, as a fallback, to sign with the highest bidder.