LAUGH LINES

For Reel!: “A pair of teenagers from Arkansas, who robbed a convenience store in order to get enough money to go to the movies, were arrested 32 minutes later. . . . The saddest part of the story is the movie they wanted to see was ‘Little Nicky.’ ” (Ira Lawson)

Do You Mind: “According to a new study . . . women use their entire brain while they are listening, whereas men only use half their brain. . . . I did some research on this and found out it’s true that women use both sides of their brain--to memorize exactly what men say so that 10 years later, they can repeat it in an argument . . . word for word!” (Jay Leno)

Just in Time: “Arnold Schwarzenegger says that as soon as the time is right, he will run for governor of California. . . . Judging from how his latest movie, ‘The Sixth Day,’ has done at the box office, the time may be right about now.” (Phil Perrier)

Getting Hip: “President George Bush . . . underwent hip replacement surgery at the Mayo Clinic. . . . See, he’s pretty smart. He wanted to get that done before his kid’s [President-Elect George W. Bush’s] health-care plan went into effect . . . and he could no longer afford it.” (Leno)

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Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.