Muddled Mix of Sitcom, Murder

Roy Battocchio’s “Thicker Than Water,” at Theatre West, is thinner than most sitcoms, yet sitcom-land is clearly Battocchio’s main frame of reference.

The story is told from the point of view of a Hollywood writer, Tommy (Dave Scotti), who has left California to visit his Italian American family in metropolitan New York. But he can’t get away from show-biz lingo. Probably the most telling such line, referring to the same material covered in this play: “If I tried to pitch this to a network, they’d throw me out of the office.” Network programmers must have certain standards of quality after all.

Tommy’s brother (Roger Cruz) and sister (Cecily Adams) eventually plan to take over the family construction business that’s run by their father (Leonard Ross) and uncle (Jack Kutcher). But they’re alarmed by their uncle’s wife’s (Susan Morgenstern) financial support for a local politician who might steer lucrative contracts to rivals. So they decide to kill her--their uncle’s wife, that is.

No one mentions the Mafia. These people aren’t trained killers. They’re meant to be likable, if dense, but they hardly blink at the idea of whacking their aunt on an extremely strained pretext. Even if they were killers, wouldn’t they go after the politician, not the aunt? Still, though the scheme may be unlikely, it’s rock-solid compared to the contrivances of the ending.

*

Director Stu Berg and the cast try to keep the one-liners flowing, with little success. Occasionally, character actor Marvin Kaplan wanders on in the small role of a Jewish doctor who lives next door, or Tommy’s brother’s girlfriend (Barbara Mallory) sheds her customary manners and erupts into momentary rage. More than occasionally, Tommy’s mother (Constance Mellors) tries to get everyone to eat more lasagna.

The TV writer is the only reasonably smart and sympathetic character--and is also played by the best-looking guy on stage, Scotti. Indeed, the only subtle effect of this play is to flatter Hollywood types at the expense of blue-collar types--”types” being the operative word.

BE THERE

‘Thicker Than Water,” Theatre West, 3333 Cahuenga Blvd. West. Thursdays-Saturdays, 8 p.m.; Sundays, 3 and 7 p.m. Ends Feb. 20. $12. (888) 551-WEST. Running time: 2 hours, 5 minutes.