It’s All a Matter of Being a Good Sport

It’s been said that the Monrovia-based Baseball Reliquary is to the Hall of Fame in Cooperstown what the Doo Dah Parade is to the Rose Parade.

The Reliquary, which likes to spoof the obsession with sports memorabilia, has amassed such supposed treasures as a partially smoked cigar left by Babe Ruth at a brothel, and a fragment of skin from the inner left thigh of baseball pioneer Abner Doubleday.

The Reliquary, which holds exhibitions around the Southland, recently announced the addition of a new artifact: “The tooth from the mouth of Cleveland catcher Ray Fosse, knocked out in the home plate collision with Pete Rose in the 1970 All Star Game.”

Will Rose attend the Reliquary’s next showing? Don’t bet on it.

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DUELING SIGNS: If you’re like me, and find that sometimes you don’t know whether you’re coming or going, today’s signs won’t help (see photos).

Donn Brackett of Twentynine Palms spotted an exit with a bit of parenthetical confusion; Andrew Bairden of Torrance snapped an exit that is not an exit, and Jackson Sleet of L.A. came upon an entrance that is not for people wishing deliverance from evil.

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L.A. SPEAK: Mike Ellis, author of “Slanguage,” a study of expressions unique to geographical sections, says the following terms are native to L.A. (His Web site is slanguage.com):

* The mountains are out (a very clear day)

* Yo Betty (hello pretty lady)

* Shake and bake (earthquake on a hot day)

* Orange Crush (intersection of Interstate 5 with the 22 and 57)

* Agro (out of control)

* Pea doc (psychiatrist)

* Random (not good)

* Silicone Beach (Playa del Rey/Venice area)

* Stogies & chino (cigars and cappuccino)

* Behind the Orange Curtain (living in Orange County)

* Go wood (adopt a Hollywood attitude)

* Gone Richter (became angry)

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SAN DIEGO SPEAK: The closest other city on Ellis’ Web site is San Diego, whose expressions include “Smogangeles” as a synonym for L.A. That’s so random.

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STUCK IN CUCAMONGA AGAIN: No sooner did I mention the movie “Exit Friday,” which is set in a ritzy, two-story house in Rancho Cucamonga, than I was notified about a New York Times review of another new movie. It described Nick Nolte’s character in “Simpatico” as “a down-and-out, hard-drinking eccentric who rattles around his shack in Cucamonga, a desolate eastern suburb of Los Angeles.” Some residents probably go Richter over that.

I’ve also been informed by several readers that Cucamonga regularly receives recognition from the arts.

David Allen, columnist of the Inland Valley Daily Bulletin, points out that Frank Zappa recorded “Cucamonga,” a tribute to the town where he launched his musical career. Zappa said he first sang “out in Cucamonga, many years ago, near a holy roller church.”

And Steven Katz of L.A. added that the Grateful Dead recorded “Pride of Cucamonga.” Observed Katz: “Guess you don’t have a lot of Deadheads reading your column, or by this time, one of them would have mentioned it.”

Not sure whether the lack of Deadhead readers is a good or bad sign.

miscelLAny:

A Jenny Craig outlet in Studio City has adjacent signs with different spellings: “Weight Center” and “Weight Centre.” I guess the first is the Monica sign and the second is the Fergie sign.