Flummoxed by the Web? Traditional Matchmakers Still Abound
Cupid has set up shop online, so what’s a single technophobe to do? A variety of alternatives to the Internet remain, including introduction services that have been around since the days when you wish you’d bought Microsoft stock. They charge more than the online dating sites but offer more personal attention.
It’s Just Lunch isn’t high-tech or low-tech, it’s proudly no-tech. Founded eight years ago by a woman who was left at the altar, Lunch now has 30 offices around the country, including branches in Century City and Newport Beach. The cost for a 12-month membership or 12 dates is $1,000. Each new member undergoes an extensive interview, then potential dates are suggested.
Nancy Kirsch, a director who conducts interviews and makes introductions, said, “We aren’t matchmakers. We don’t give advice or massage a relationship. What we do is provide introductions based on interviews and our own intuition.”
They don’t expect that the first date that’s arranged will be the perfect match (although that does happen), but they elicit feedback after each date that helps them fine-tune the process of choosing the next person. After the initial meeting, It’s Just Lunch steps out of the picture and the people involved decide whether to get to know each other better.
Mark, a 36-year-old sales manager from Irvine, recently became engaged to the first woman he met through the service a year ago. His fiancee had gone on nine It’s Just Lunch dates before they met. “My intention wasn’t to find a wife,” he said. “But I hadn’t really been doing anything about finding somebody to go out with, so I decided to be a little more proactive. The women you meet have been well-screened and prequalified, so it saved me a lot of time and energy. Two of my friends who had been complaining that they weren’t meeting good women tried it and told me about it.”
Great Expectations is the granddaddy of introduction services. Founded in 1974, it has expanded from its Los Angeles base to 54 offices throughout the country. New members write a profile and make a video that becomes part of the service’s library. For $1,800, they gain access to the profiles, photos and videos of Great Expectation’s 10,000 local members, for nine months.
Prospective members must show identification with a picture, which is checked by the company. “Our members pay a lot of money, and one of the things we’re offering them is that the people they’ll find here are who they say they are,” said Dennis Durante, chief executive of the company.
“Our members know what they want, and we provide them the opportunity to meet the sort of people they can’t meet on their own--educated, professional, financially capable people who are serious about meeting other quality people.” Their members range from 21 to 84, with most between 28 and 60. Until recently, videos and profiles had to be viewed at the company’s offices. To provide the convenience some members have become accustomed to on the Internet, they have made it possible for members to see videos on their home computers.
“Last year we didn’t see the growth we had planned,” Durante said. “We did some surveying that told us people had tried the Internet dating services. But what we’ve been told by many people who tried that, then have come to us, is the quality wasn’t there. You hear all kinds of horror stories. A lot of times the people online are just playing. It’s 2 a.m. and they’re bored, so they fool around at the computer. Our members are more serious people who really want to meet someone.”
Great Expectations reports that every six days a couple who met through their Los Angeles office gets married. “Video gives you an opportunity to get a feel for someone’s personality,” Durante said. “All your senses are evaluating someone. And by the time you actually go out on a date, a lot has happened. You’ve read about someone’s background and learned what they’re looking for, then made a decision to meet. Then there’s phone contact. By the time people get to a first date it’s more like a sixth date.”
Dianne Bennett is pleased to call herself an old-fashioned matchmaker. But not for just anyone. Her service, Dianne Bennett Matchmaker, located in Beverly Hills, claims to be the only matchmaking business catering exclusively to beautiful women and wealthy men. Her clients pay $10,000 for 20 introductions, and she will do the kind of coaching and hand-holding less expensive services don’t. “When people pay you, I find they’ll listen.”
Most of her paying customers are men. They get to peruse Bennett’s collection of 1,000 photos of former Playboy playmates, actresses, models and Hollywood wannabes. The girls don’t pay Bennett anything to be included in her photo gallery, and they aren’t guaranteed any dates. (She also operates a Web site, https://www.loveatfirstsight.com, where women post pictures free, and men pay $5 for each e-mail they send.)
“It’s my business, so I get to decide who’s pretty enough and who isn’t,” she said. “I’m pretty good at figuring out who’s going to like whom, so by the time the men who come to me have usually gone on four or five dates, they’ve found a steady.” A steady is what half her clients are looking for. “They’re relationship-oriented,” Bennett said. “At my prices, they’re looking for marriage or a relationship.” A former columnist for the Hollywood Reporter, she began matchmaking for friends 20 years ago, then hosted small, select singles parties in Beverly Hills. She has operated her service for 10 years and claims hundreds of marriages.
“I try to get people to be realistic,” Bennett said. “Everybody has a higher opinion of themselves than others have of them. So 2s want 10s. There are men who don’t dress well. Their bodies aren’t in great shape. If a man isn’t great-looking, he needs to have some money or a great lifestyle to offer. We’re in a city of beautiful women, and many of them are tired of men who have nothing to offer but conversation, tired of men who aren’t generous. Why shouldn’t a man with something to offer go for the prettiest possible catch? I think for men, it’s all about looks. It’s all about chemistry and attraction. On their own, it would be impossible for my clients to meet the kind of women I introduce them to.”
Bennett runs background checks on prospective clients, and turns some customers away. She said, “It would be fraud for me to take on a client who it would be impossible to find someone for. I don’t take on gnarly little critters just for the money.”
