Postal Worker Buyout Rumor Is Really E-Mail Hoax

The hot job rumor at the U.S. Postal Service is that the giant agency is about to offer troops the chance to retire early with buyouts worth up to $25,000.

With 797,795 full-time career employees, the Postal Service is the largest federal agency. But unlike other agencies, most of its employees remain in the same jobs--clerk or carrier--and at the same grade for a full career. For many, early retirement with a bonus sounds wonderful.

But like so many wouldn’t-it-be-lovely rumors, this one is totally false.

There are no buyouts and no early retirements on the horizon, postal officials say. And that should be that. But the false rumors have an even uglier side.

The tale of the bogus benefits is being spread by, dare we say it, e-mail.

Imagine a postal worker, after a hot day sorting mail or dodging dogs, arriving home with a you’ve-got-e-mail message that says deliverance is at hand. And it’s false. Talk about adding insult to injury.

The Postal Service depends on having a monopoly on first-class mail, its preferred form of communication. Postal workers know they are facing competition. And they realize the Postal Service is going to have to slim down. It has more people in uniform than the Army.

Inquiring postal workers want to know why--if the Defense Department, Internal Revenue Service and others are giving buyouts and early-outs--they can’t join the fun.

Well, for one thing, buyouts cost a ton of money. The maximum buyout is $25,000. That equals a lot of 33-cent stamps.

For another thing, Congress hasn’t forgotten the last Postal Service buyout (run under a previous postmaster general), which was, well, not well received. Oh, the people who got the payments loved it. But so many key people got buyouts that the Postal Service had delivery problems and had to add people to the payroll to replace people it had paid to leave.

Buyouts and early-outs aren’t part of the game plan.

So you can take that e-mail message about postal buyouts and delete it.