Modern Problem: Harried in the Pursuit of Saving Time

I don’t want to be an alarmist, but I think labor-saving devices are invading us like those pod people in that creepy science fiction movie “Invasion of the Body Snatchers.”

You might remember the ending--Kevin McCarthy is running for his life down a dark highway trying to flag down cars, and everyone thinks he’s a nut case.

Well, don’t let them hear you, but I have this premonition that gadgets are cloning themselves, pod-like, in our garages while we’re asleep. Before we know it, they’ll have all our money, and we’ll be working feverishly just to support them. For me it’s already happened.

I realized this when, right in the middle of brushing my teeth one morning, my toothbrush quit. It’s electric, and the battery had run down. I bought the high-tech ultrasonic model because my dentist said it was the latest design. It was on sale for $60--couldn’t pass that up. Right?

After the electric toothbrush quit, I dug out my old-fashioned, hand-powered model. It got me thinking. The old-fashioned toothbrush cost about a dollar and lasts six months. So the 60 bucks I spent for the electric toothbrush represents a 30-year supply of the old-fashioned ones--and I’m not even sure I have a 30-year supply of teeth.

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My wife Jenny and I have always been pushovers for the latest high-tech gadget. We were first on our block to buy one of those fancy cordless phones. Back then they cost $400, but it was worth it. In January we could call the folks back East and tell them we were sitting outside in our spa. We Southern Californians feel that being able to do stuff like that makes up for the earthquakes. But lately I’ve been asking myself, “Was it really worth 400 bucks just to call my snowbound sister in Pittsburgh and tell her we were sitting outdoors up to our necks in hot water?”

This creeping technology has gotten totally out of hand. Our kitchen has more high-tech gear than a nuclear submarine. When the microwave oven is working, I can heat up a cup of soup in a minute. I don’t know why that’s such a big deal, but we all feel it’s important to save time. With all the time I’m saving, I could get a part-time job. That may be the only way I can ever afford all the timesaving stuff I keep buying.

But some of us are fighting back. In Southern California, Beverly Hills started the ball rolling by banning gasoline-powered leaf blowers. Without taking sides, it makes sense to get rid of noisy machines that just blow trash off the sidewalk where, odds are, the next breeze will blow it right back again. Why not sweep trash up with an old-fashioned broom and get rid of it once and for all? People argue that gardeners would take longer to do the yards, so they would have to charge more. But they wouldn’t have to buy expensive leaf blowers or spend money to run them. They might break even.

I’m writing this on my computer. Four years ago it was the latest thing. The dealer said it had more memory than NASA had for the Apollo moon shot. Imagine!

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Lately I’ve been having trouble keeping track of our checkbook, so last week I bought a program that records all the checks and credit card payments. It makes little beeps when I turn it on, and it gives me reports with fancy color charts and graphs. The salesperson said it’s like having your own accountant. But this new program uses a lot more computer memory, so I had to buy a bigger hard drive. I bought one on sale for less than $300 . . . including the factory rebate.

I suppose it’s irrational of me to feel that we’re all just working for machines, that they’re hostile devices we’ve become subservient to. Me? I’m not intimidated. First thing Monday, I’m going to march right into the kitchen and ask the espresso machine for a raise. If it turns me down, keep an eye out for me. I’ll be the guy running out there on the freeway.

Al Gressler lives in Newbury Park.