LAUGH LINES
Zeroing In: “It will take a lot of people awhile to get used to writing ‘00’ for the year on checks, especially former ‘Diff’rent Strokes’ star Gary Coleman. He’s used to writing ‘00’ for his remaining balance.” (Alex Kaseberg)
Big Bang: Albert Einstein was named Time magazine’s Person of the Century. “His theories laid the groundwork for ‘the Bomb.’ But it was network sitcom writers who really perfected it.” (Jerry Perisho)
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The Essential David Letterman
Top Features of the New Popemobile
10. Rearview mirror that reads: “Objects in mirror are holier than they appear.”
9. Stained-glass windshield.
8. Radio automatically switches stations when Sinead O’Connor comes on.
6. Bumper sticker: “Don’t ask me about my grandson, as I have taken a lifelong vow of celibacy.”
5. More hat room than any car in its class.
4. Electronic mapping device shows Earth at center of solar system.
2. Transmission that doesn’t break down every six months--now that would be a miracle.
1. Corners like a snake in a rat hole.
Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.
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