LAUGH LINES
In a Heartbeat: “Presidential hopeful Bill Bradley has admitted he’s had an irregular heartbeat several times in the last month. Bradley has assured the media and supporters that this announcement will not interfere in any way with his goal: losing the Democratic nomination to Al Gore.” (Craig Kilborn)
Two Much: “NBC recently aired ‘The David Cassidy Story,’ a two-hour movie about the life and career of David Cassidy. Not to be confused with ‘The David Caruso Story’ on ABC, a two-minute movie.” (Andrew Wisot)
Acting Out: “Dennis Rodman will join the cast of a new TV series called ‘The Consultants.’ He’ll play an investigator with a medical condition that causes unpredictable mood swings. This is one time you won’t hear the actor ask the director, ‘What’s my motivation?’ ” (Jerry Perisho)
*
Chris Pina’s
Essential Daily List
What Jesse Helms Can Do
to Improve His Image
* Form pop vocal group Boyz 2 Old Men.
* Burn flannel Confederate Flag jammies.
* Do off-off-Broadway revival of “Torch Song Trilogy.”
* Retire.
Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.
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