Bobble-Head Twins Packing Them In

The Twins finally have stumbled upon a draw for their Metrodome.

No, it’s not baseball, silly.

It’s bobble-head dolls! You know, small bodies, big bouncy heads! Thousands of them!

Some of the Twins’ biggest crowds have turned out for the Kent Hrbek and Harmon Killebrew dolls, with Kirby Puckett and Tony Oliva still to come.

There have been a few gripes about the likenesses, however.

“I have to fend off Hrbek complaints because he’s in the light-blue uniform, the ugliest uniforms we ever wore,” a Twin official said. “And he said the doll wasn’t fat enough to make it accurate. Puck thinks we made his butt too big, when the truth is just the opposite.”

Alas, the head’s not the only thing bobblin’.

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Let’s be Frank: Paul Beeston’s decision to overturn a majority of the Dodger suspensions won’t sit well in the office of Frank “Law and Order” Robinson.

Most suspected Robinson was way over the top in his punishment of the Dodgers, and Beeston left the Hanging Judge hanging.

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So long, Sammy: The apparent departure of Sammy Sosa had darkened the mood of everyone in Chicago who isn’t employed as a Cub accountant.

Wrote Chicago Sun-Times columnist Jay Mariotti: “Anyone who cares about the Cubs and competition, an eternal oxymoron, doesn’t understand why a baseball team stays in business if it trades Sammy Sosa. The whole, stinking production begs a question: Why stop at this? If the suits in Tribune Tower are in a downsizing mood, preferring to run a big-city baseball team like a pawn shop, why not do us all a favor and unload the entire franchise?

“Sammy Sosa is the only cool reason to be a Cub fan. And now, he is about to be shipped away by an owner that doesn’t deserve him.”

The Cubs are fortunate other baseball owners found Sosa expendable. To get to the Cubs, he first had to be traded by Texas and the Chicago White Sox.

Now something even more difficult: Patching up their differences with Sammy.

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It’s going around: The front-office foolishness, that is.

In New York, they’re still slapping their foreheads over the Dodgers dealing Mike Piazza to Florida, which led to the Mets landing him. As usual, Daily News columnist Mike Lupica slaps the loudest.

“The Dodgers made one of the dumbest business decisions in baseball history--by trading Piazza away.

“Tom Seaver, of course, is the greatest Met pitcher of all time. Piazza is the greatest position player they have ever had. In this Yankee time in New York, as cool and young and talented as [Derek] Jeter is, Piazza is the top gun.”

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Whitey rides again: More than two decades after he was fired by the Kansas City Royals for finishing three games out of first place, Manager Whitey Herzog was inducted Saturday into the club’s Hall of Fame.

“I’m not naive [enough] to think they weren’t second-guessing every move I made and the first time I didn’t win, I was going to be gone,” Herzog said. “So, it’s no big deal. Like Casey Stengel said to me many, many years ago: ‘If you don’t die on the job or own the club, you’re going to get fired.’ ”

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It’s a bird . . . Jeter, amid rampant reports the Yankees would add a superstar bat to their lineup: “I don’t care who you get, one person is not going to win a championship. You can bring Superman here. He can’t do it by himself.”

Shaq could not be reached for comment.

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Some rhyme, no reason: Because they like their jobs and are in love with themselves, Atlanta announcers generally withheld comment on the catcher’s box scrap with the club.

Under redirect, however, Skip Caray said, “My mother said, ‘Birds in their little nests agree ‘tis a shameful sight when children of one family bite and chide and fight.’ ”

OK.

Chatter’s mom, a noted rule book hound, says, “Tom Glavines on their mounds all know ‘tis a glorious glee when Javy Lopez sets to and fro and steals another strike three.”

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And none can fly: Nearly four years after joining the Mariners, pitcher Jamie Moyer finally bought a home in Seattle. During previous seasons, his family, which includes four children, lived in a high-rise complex.

“It has a backyard and neighbors,” Moyer said of the new place. “Before, you couldn’t tell the kids to go outside and play because it was 25 or 30 floors down.”

Unless, of course, they were really acting up.

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A Dusty, Buddy flare-up: There is a bubbling (not bobblin’) rivalry in the National League West between San Francisco and Colorado, where strong managerial personalities have clashed.

Dusty Baker and Buddy Bell got into it this week, after Colorado’s Tom Goodwin stole a base late in a game the Rockies led by seven runs and San Francisco’s Shawn Estes later threw a pitch behind Goodwin’s head.

Bell pointed and yelled at Baker, who said he last heard Bell shout, “It ain’t over yet.”

“He started pointing at me,” Baker said. “I don’t take nothing from no man.”

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Oh, Pedro: Knocked around a little last Sunday, Pedro Martinez showed his bratty side. It wasn’t attractive.

“I’m glad I gave up five runs,” he told the gathered media before going to the disabled list. “In a way it’s relaxing for me that I give up a few, so that you guys start thinking I’m normal.”

Think how relaxed Jose Lima must be. Like, fat-Uncle-Lou-nursing-a-Rheingold- in-the-hammock-on-the-Fourth-of-July relaxed.