At Rock Concerts, Boomer Parents Add Sense of Deja Vu

Jonathan Sherman knew he had two options: He could go to the rock concerts he desperately wanted to, but only if Dad went along. Or he could stay home and not risk death-by-parental-embarrassment.

Not an easy decision for a 14-year-old.

In the end, the music won. So in the midst of recent concerts by thrashers Blink-182 and popsters No Doubt, there was Carl Sherman, the 50-year-old CPA from Towson, Md., who normally prefers Count Basie, Dave Brubeck and classic jazz.

“I thought the musicians were great,” says the elder Sherman, a relative neophyte to the concert scene since watching Chicago and Blood, Sweat and Tears perform three decades ago. “Maybe it was different from my tastes, but if I were Jonathan’s age, I’m sure I’d be listening to them.”

Sherman is not the only baby boomer getting a good dose of deja vu. Whether grunge or punk, rap, alternative or teen heart-throb, rock concerts are attracting a healthy share of parents who go with their kids to the shows.

Such a concept was unimaginable in the ‘60s and ‘70s when boomers dominated the concert scene. Catch Mom or Dad at a concert? Maybe if Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin were the headliners.

But in recent years, parents have become such a common sight at rock concerts, including boy-group N’ Sync’s recent appearance at the Rose Bowl, that many arenas are setting up “quiet rooms” where they can go to escape the high-volume sound, munch on snacks, watch TV or socialize with fellow parents.

“I figured my high-end hearing was pretty lost anyway from working as a dentist, but when the band yelled, ‘We can’t hear you, Baltimore,’ the fifth or sixth time, the noise was deafening,” says Tom Ritter, who accompanied his 13-year-old daughter, Sarah, and five of her friends to a recent Britney Spears concert.

“It was loud. I’ve been to rock concerts all my life, and it was loud.”

Don Wehner, a concert promoter, says it looks like parents are showing up in greater numbers--and not just for acts such as Spears, who attracts an almost strictly teen and preteen audience. Even heavy-metal shows like Metallica draw parents.

Wehner suspects that many come to supervise. (Parents often question him about whether drugs can still be found at shows.) But he also sees parents who genuinely seem to enjoy the music and want to share the experience with their children.

“The difference is that we’re baby boomers. We grew up watching shows,” says Wehner, 47, president of Upfront Productions. “The music is not really that far off from the music someone in their 40s might enjoy.”

That’s exactly how Bruce Grau feels. The owner of an insurance agency, Grau rattles off the names of the rock ‘n’ roll acts he’s seen over the last several summers with his 15-year-old son, Tim: Barenaked Ladies, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Foo Fighters, Everclear and the Dave Matthews Band three times.

“I don’t mind doing it. I can still remember when I was a teenager,” says Grau, 48, who has driven Tim and his friends from their Maryland home as far as Myrtle Beach, S.C., and Pittsburgh to catch concerts. “In his Father’s Day card, Tim wrote, ‘Thanks for taking me to those concerts.’ I think he appreciates my being there with him.”

Tim says that’s exactly how he feels: His father is cool and “loves the music” even if he doesn’t always understand the lyrics. But there are times when he wishes he could go alone. “I’m glad he’s there, but I’d rather be there by myself.”

Grau says his son is probably old enough to attend a concert alone, but Tim’s friends have more skeptical parents. So when he takes the group to a show, he gives them space--he sometimes sits in a different part of the arena--but stops by their seats periodically.

“The best compliment I heard came from someone who was sitting behind my son in Pittsburgh,” he recalls. “She was maybe 30 or 31 and said they were so well-behaved she wanted to adopt those four boys. Most people don’t take time to say that kind of stuff.”

Fred Puddester, 45, takes a similar approach. Twice, he has accompanied his 14-year-old daughter, Emily, to an all-day concert featuring dozens of progressive rock bands. He doesn’t sit with her necessarily, but he requires her to meet him every 90 minutes or so.

“It’s not like I’m walking around with her. She doesn’t want to be seen with me while we’re there,” says Puddester, budget director for Johns Hopkins University. “But as soon as we arrive, we scout out a place to meet. She knows I want to make sure nothing bad is happening.”

Not every parent is capable of making it through an 11-hour rock concert, of course. Jonathan Sherman’s mother admits she couldn’t handle two hours listening to No Doubt, and left that chore strictly to her husband.

“A lot of parents can’t handle the high volume,” says Edie Brown, director of public and community relations for the Baltimore Arena. “And then there are the parents who want to see Britney Spears, but they don’t want to admit it.”