Small Vices

Like all important research news for parents, this find was buried deep in the newspaper: Parents aren’t using the proper tools to find educational TV for their children. In fact, they aren’t even limiting “inappropriate content.”

I am a cafeteria-style parent. I take some research and live by it--breast-feeding until 27 months and no soda pop before breakfast. Other research I simply call “hooey” and just ignore. What do they know anyway? Remember the recent “no family bed” ruling by the American Academy of Pediatrics? If families weren’t meant to sleep together, then why did anyone invent the California king?

Now we’re supposed to pay attention to Congress on children’s shows, as if I want this crew legislating more rules. Here comes another alphabet soup of TV-Y, TV-G and TV-Y7 (ages 7 and up, not for our 3-year-old girl and 5-year-old boy).

We tried. A very long time ago, we tuned in to PBS and quickly discovered that both our children were petrified of puppets and clowns. You can imagine the horror. As they’ve grown older, they’ve also developed aversions to moralizing and dullness.

Which left us with inappropriate TV. And that can be a good thing.

There’s a place for bad TV, and those who deny it are the same ones who keep saying that George Clooney is unattractive. Oh, why bother even arguing the point?

Our young children are allowed one vice at a time. And right now, their shared vice is “The Powerpuff Girls,” a Y7 tasty treat served up by Cartoon Network.

For the uninformed, the three “PPG,” as they sometimes call themselves, are a scientific experiment gone awry--girls formed in a laboratory from “sugar, spice and everything nice.” But then, Professor Utonium accidentally spilled in “Chemical X.”

The result was Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup--crusading kindergartners who consistently save the city of Townsville, even if it means staying up on a school night.

The professor and three superheroes lead a rather pleasant domestic life when the girls are not out fighting evil villains. Like all good cartoons, the humor is multileveled. At times, the girls dislike being Townsville enablers, though they’d never use the term. And there was the time some local kids got hold of Chemical X. The mayor is a dimwit, but that’s OK, because his attractively drawn assistant, Miss Sarah Bellum, is the real brains behind the office.

Someday, “PPG” may even approach “Rocky and Bullwinkle” status among hipsters. Already, you see “Powerpuff Girls” T-shirts on groovy young women. All the girls at preschool wear their sandals. And the coolest friend we have recently bought figurines to protect his home altar of Buddha.

At times, the show is really not appropriate for children, even our children. Every battle between right and wrong turns into a melee, and we don’t mean the mild Staples Center melee, but a rousting battle of fists, lasers and superpowers. The villains always end up behind bars.

The villains, though multifaceted, perpetuate bad ethnic stereotypes, similar to the ones in “Die Hard” movies. And even I am offended by that, especially since I am of Middle Eastern descent and, OK, just a little prickly about the subject.

The girls can be brats. Of the three girls, only Bubbles is consistently thoughtful. Blossom, the leader, is at times bossy and a braggart. Buttercup is almost always grumpy and seems confused about her femininity. On second thought, she isn’t confused but quite clear about her rejection of it.

It’s kind of like “Sex and the City” for preschoolers. Nobody actually wants to emulate that sort of behavior, but it’s so much fun to watch.

I carefully monitor each viewing, which I’m sure researchers and some readers would say is mighty adult of me. I shriek and threaten to turn off the tube when things get too violent. The fear of the parental remote button just adds to the fun of doing something illicit.

Still, what a relief to find no warm and fuzzy messages or examples of nonviolent conflict resolution, no silly misunderstandings about who is right or wrong. The girls are always right, the villains always wrong.

The girls have to follow only one rule, which is often repeated by their kindergarten teacher: “No fighting in class, girls.” It’s a line our son frequently repeats for comic effect.

And unlike “Pokemon,” our kids’ more recent infatuation, the heroes are warm and funny--a relief after spending the last year with the stilted heroics of Ash, Misty, Pikachu and Brock. I agree with our daughter--Ash may be a dashing 10-year-old but Misty, the girl sidekick, leaves much to be desired. She’s a world-class whiner who shrieks at the sight of bugs, nothing like a Powerpuff Girl.

Instead, our girls rock, they punch, they bicker, they fall asleep in class. Their lesson: A girl can be a pain in the neck and still be a superhero.

And that’s more than educational enough for me.

*

* “The Powerpuff Girls” can be seen at 8:30 and 11:30 p.m. Monday-Thursday on Cartoon Network. “PPG” can also be seen at 11:30 a.m. Saturday and 11:30 p.m. Sunday, and two compilations of episodes were recently released on home video.