LAUGH LINES

Looking for New Digs: “The London Daily Mail says President Clinton is shopping for a house in England near Oxford College. The royal family is petrified. The president would be the worst possible influence on Prince William right now.” (Argus Hamilton)

Playing It Smart: “About 1,500 members of the American Mensa, the society for people with IQs in the top 2% of the general population, attended its annual convention. What was the most popular pickup line at the bar? ‘Hello there, young female of the species, do you transport yourself to this drinking establishment with great frequency?’ ” (Jerry Perisho)

Not Her Again: “I got the new ‘Harry Potter’ book. . . . Have you bought this thing? You know . . . I opened the book up [and] inside--nude pictures of Darva Conger. That annoying woman is everywhere!” (Jay Leno)

In Briefs . . .: “Frederick’s of Hollywood filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. I don’t want to be negative, but it looks like their cup is half empty.” (Elyse Verse)

Taking a Break: “The White House announced . . . the Clintons will skip the traditional summer vacation this year. . . . I mean, Hillary’s out of the White House, Clinton’s been on vacation ever since!” (Leno)

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.