LAUGH LINES
Spicing Things Up: “The Spice Girls have reunited. They’re willing to put their solo careers on hold for a while. Despite popular demand, they are back.” (Jay Leno)
Up to Bat: “The U.S. Postal Service is honoring the sport of baseball by placing images of 20 baseball greats on commemorative stamps. . . . The stamps of the old players cost a few cents, but if you want a stamp of a new player, it’ll cost you $100 million over five years.” (Mark Wheeler)
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The Essential
David Letterman
Top Signs That You’re
a Lame Superhero
10. Costumes consist of thermal underwear and a Mets cap.
9. By day, you’re a mild-mannered Radio Shack employee. By night, you’re a mild-mannered Radio Shack employee at home watching TV.
7. Two weaknesses: Kryptonite and Sara Lee lemon bundt cake.
6. You’re called “The Flash” because of what you do to people.
5. Archenemies: Guy in upstairs apartment who plays his music too loud.
4. Can only fight crime until 10 p.m., then Mom wants you home.
3. Your catch phrase: “Please don’t hurt me.”
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Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.
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