LAUGH LINES

Taking Precaution: “City officials in Los Angeles are starting to get a little worried about the upcoming Democratic Convention. They’re concerned about protesters rioting during the convention, and they’re doing something clever. . . . Do you see what they’re doing for crowd control? They’re going to bring in Diana Ross and the Supremes to help disperse the crowd.” (Jay Leno)

What’s on TV: “It was reported that CBS’ newest reality show, ‘Big Brother,’ is not doing well in the ratings because people think it is boring. And actually, I don’t know if you’ve seen it, but it is kind of boring. Tonight’s episode just shows a bunch of people sitting around watching ‘Survivor.’ ” (Conan O’Brien)

He’s on Fire: “There was a fire . . . at the White House. Seems Democrats tried to light a fire under Al Gore’s campaign, but you know how wooden he is--it got out of hand. You have to be careful around him!” (R.J. Johnson)

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