A Visit to the Old Baby-Boomers’ Home

While driving in Fountain Valley recently, I got a glimpse of the future. It was the shell of a building going up--the future site of a senior citizens’ residential complex.

I used to drive past places like that and think, Those poor souls.

Now, as I move into the autumn of my life and wake up every morning with something hurting, I think, Hey, I wonder what they charge?

Builders must see the trend coming. Orange County housing official Julia Bidwell says that a future building boom for seniors’ housing is a sure thing and that it will involve both private and public efforts. Most likely, she says, the county will provide the affordable alternatives that private developments may not.

My first childhood memory of “senior living” came from our family’s occasional visits to see our aging Aunt Hannah. In my mind’s eye, the building looked like the state penitentiary. Her room seemed drab and depressing, like one of those movie scenes shot through a gauzy lens.

In reality, it was probably nothing like that.

Chapman University President James Doti wrote in The Times last Sunday that the older-than-60 population in Orange County will increase from 391,000 this year to 733,000 by 2020.

That’s a lot of old people. But the thing is, my baby-boomer generation can’t imagine itself as ever being old. Maybe you can accept senior status while listening to the soothing sounds of a Glenn Miller recording, but will it be possible while listening to “The Kinks’ Greatest Hits”?

I doubt it.

Talkin’ ‘Bout My Generation

My generation probably will play out our conceit right to the end. For that reason, I expect that our senior centers will be a lot different than the ones for my parents’ generation.

Let’s say it’s the year 2020 at the “Happy Together Community Living” center that caters to the 65-and-older crowd.

I’m picturing the bulletin board, which in the time-honored tradition features a message from the social director:

“Too bad you all didn’t catch ‘Saturday Night Live’ over the weekend. If not, you missed a good one. The Stones have still got it, don’t they? They did a funny bit with guest host Dan Quayle in which Mick played the presidential nominee and Quayle spoofed himself as the vice president on the 2020 ticket. The highlight was Mick acting all imperious and singing ‘Under My Thumb’ to Quayle. Good stuff.

“I know some of you saw the show in the PanReality Room, because a roach clip or two was found under the curtains. People, you know the rules here: Put your clips and butts in the ashtrays provided next to your chairs. Let’s don’t be flipping them around willy-nilly. That just makes it tougher on the cleanup crew.

“Speaking of which, let’s put our hands together for Tawny Cavanaugh in 112. She baked this week’s batch of community brownies. They had an especially mellowing texture, don’t you think? Amazing how you people never lost your taste for chocolate.

“Lost and Found Dept.: One slightly dogeared copy of ‘Catcher in the Rye.’ Ben Handleman says he can’t find it but would like it back, since this particular copy has been in the family for 48 years.

“Some of you have asked what’s happening with the maintenance in the In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida courtyard. All I can say is we’re aware of the problem and are doing all we can to make sure the speakers are firmly attached to the tree limbs. We realize our “Evening in the Courtyard” series loses something when speakers are crashing down on top of people, but we’re working on it.

“Tonight at 10, we’re showing a double feature. First up is that classic ’67 film ‘The Graduate.’ It’ll be especially poignant for many of us, given that Dustin Hoffman just died last week. Doesn’t seem possible, does it?

“To really mess with your minds, though, we’re backing it up with ‘Apocalypse Now’ starring Marlon Brando and Robert Duvall. I love the smell of Ben-Gay in the morning.

“That’s it from the director’s office. Until next month,

“Peace.”

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Dana Parsons’ column appears Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. Readers may reach Parsons by calling (714) 966-7821 or by e-mail to dana.parsons@latimes.com