Wanted: One Rival for PGA Tour; Must Start Immediately

Multiple choice: What golf needs is a good:

A. Three-hour round.

B. Cheap set of clubs.

C. Spanking.

D. Rivalry.

Of course, the best answer is D.

Golf is like all sports in that it succeeds best when it tells great stories. It needs main characters to make it work and no matter how dominant the central figure, he requires others to play off or it’s all sort of, well, boring.

That is golf’s situation with Tiger Woods, the central figure, who has seen golf carts full of would-be protagonists roll past as they audition in the rivalry department.

The roll call began with David Duval, then shifted to Phil Mickelson, then moved on to Sergio Garcia.

Who’s next, Notah Begay?

Why not? Just imagine the great potential for conflict at the next Stanford alumni dinner.

Anyway, one of the rivals in waiting has his own idea of how the situation shapes up.

“I think [status quo] can be very healthy for the game,” Duval said. “We talk of rivalry, but clearly, there hasn’t been a rivalry. I think if you add up the performance of three or four players, maybe there is a rivalry. Woods has clearly outplayed everybody.

“When I was going through the run that I had, they were talking about how somebody else had to step it up to bring it up to me. It has to be somebody else. It goes on and on. I think the writers, the golfing fans, the golfing public are real interested in a rivalry evolving somewhere.

“We get asked about it every week, it seems. I don’t think about it.”

However, many do. After Ernie Els shot his opening-round 66 at the British Open, one of the first questions was about Woods.

“Come on, fellows, I just shot a 66,” Els said.

Colin Montgomerie’s pre-tournament interview lasted through exactly one question before he was asked about Woods, which Montgomerie noted with a wry smile.

“First American question, first Tiger Woods question,” Montgomerie said.

Maybe the best idea is to allow a rivalry to develop naturally.

By the way, the Woods-Duval pairing was their first in a major.

ERNIE SAYS

Els on Woods: “I play the regular tour event and Tiger plays his own event.”

THREE-TIMER

The last player to hold titles in three consecutive majors was Jack Nicklaus. He won the 1971 PGA, the 1972 Masters and the 1972 U.S. Open.

Nicklaus was second to Lee Trevino in the 1972 British Open.

TRY GRANOLA

Nick Faldo’s advice to teens who want to be like Woods: “Stop eating doughnuts.”

CAN’T SPELL IT

Montgomerie, using a word you will never hear a U.S. player say: “I just putted horrendously.”

TEACHER UPDATE

Who is the best golf teacher in the United States? It’s David Leadbetter, not Butch Harmon, according to Golf Digest, which lists the top 50 teachers as chosen by their peers.

Leadbetter has worked with Greg Norman, Faldo and Nick Price. Harmon, who instructs Woods and Darren Clarke, is No. 2. The rest of the top 10, in order, are Jim McLean, Hank Haney, Rick Smith, Jim Flick, Dave Pelz, Chuck Cook, Bob Toski and Jimmy Ballard.

BUTCH BANDWAGON

Harmon, who has endorsements with Titleist, Nike and Rio Secco, added another one last week: Winn Grips.

YES, SIR, JESPER

The Best Impersonation of a Player Award at the British Open went to the two Swedes dressed in white and wearing cardboard cutouts of Jesper Parnevik’s face, taking turns kissing a cardboard cutout of the Claret Jug.

JESPER II

Best (or Most Unusual) Dressed Award went to Parnevik, for his practice outfit of white cap, white sweater, white shirt, white slacks, white socks and white shoes.

Said Glenn Sheeley of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution: “He looks like the guy who showed up to paint the plutonium reactor.”

BIRDIES, BOGEYS, PARS

Kenny Chesney will host the 18th Academy of Country Music Bill Boyd Celebrity tournament Oct. 9 at De Bell Golf Course in Burbank. The event benefits charities, including the T.J. Martell Foundation for cancer, AIDS and leukemia research for children. Details: (323) 462-2351.

John McCook has been named head pro at Lost Canyons Golf Club, the new 36-hole Pete Dye layout in Simi Valley. McCook is the former pro at Ocean Trails.

Paul Hjulberg has been named director of golf at UC Riverside. The UCR men’s and women’s programs will begin play in the 2001-2002 season. Hjulberg has been the head pro at Canyon Crest Country Club.