There’s Simply No Dodging T.J.

I am writing to protest the heavy censorship of T.J. Simers. I have obtained his original draft of Tuesday’s column, which I ask you to print for the public good:

ON SUNDAY, I DECIDED to go to a Dodger game. I haven’t been able to sit in the press box since The Times took away my media credential, but I figured I’d impress my friends by pulling a few strings with my Dodger contacts. “Sure, T.J., we’ve got the perfect tickets for you,” they said. “Ordinarily they go for six bucks, but for you, we’ll charge 19.”

I don’t have any friends, so I took my wife and nephew instead. We showed up at 1:05, but found out that the game wouldn’t start until 5:05. (I could have found this out in the paper, but I stopped reading The Times because it’s filled with so many cheap shots at me from athletes, readers, and my editors.) We had a lot of time to pass, so I spent a while calling my nephew stupid and an underachiever.

Eventually, they opened the gates and we went up to our seats--at the top of the blue deck, next to the foul pole. With less than 36 hours until my deadline, I needed to come up with a story fast so I bought a program, skipped over the garbage about “league leaders” and went straight to F.P. Santangelo’s latest batting average. That took about two minutes, so I passed some more time calling my wife fat, old, and ugly.

The game eventually started. I think Hollandsworth and Green hit home runs, but I don’t pay much attention to that stuff. My nephew had brought his glove, hoping to catch a ball, so I called him naive and a moron. That’s when my wife started chanting “T.J. stinks,” and pretty soon the whole crowd had joined in. They really went wild when the Dodgers put my picture, name, and seat location on the scoreboard and Kevin Brown started kicking a Giants bobble-head doll with “T.J.” written on it.

By then, the Dodgers were up 4-0 and Dreifort was pitching a two-hitter. It was obvious that there wasn’t going to be anything to write about, so I went home.

It’s great being me.

JOHN DENT, Pacific Palisades

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Read where T.J. Simers was forced to actually pay for tickets (overpriced at that) to a Dodger game. The only reason he couldn’t get a freebie was because of that sign at the entrance to the press box that reads “legitimate sportswriters only beyond this point.” Too bad! See you in the cheap seats, T.J.!

MARIO GAMA, Palmdale

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Let’s hear from the women sports fans of our town! Finally, there is something that can get my husband interested in the sports pages again. One week of T.J.’s acerbic wit and I now have to fight to get the sports section!

SUE COVENTON, Yorba Linda

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To all you T.J. Simers critics who continually pan him in Viewpoint, take a good look in the mirror. You do the same thing to him that he does to others. Does that mean that you’re all no better than he is?

BOB MURTHA, Santa Maria

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What do T.J. Simers and Disney Sports President Tony Tavares have in common?

They prove that mediocre performance can be criteria for longtime employment.

BARRY P. RESNICK, Orange

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Oops: Looks like The Times goofed. Shouldn’t T.J. Simers’ column be with the comics instead of the sports section?

MARTIN RIEMER, Los Angeles