It’s Not All About Quackenbush

Despite what Ed Hakim of L.A., Michael White of Santa Ana and several other readers wondered, the full-page ad that appeared in the front section of The Times on Thursday had nothing to do with the resignation of Chuck Quackenbush as state insurance commissioner.

I’m referring to the ad that said in large type:

Chuck

the

Yuck

It was placed by Crest toothpaste, not Northridge earthquake victims.

ANNALS OF STRANGE CRIME: The police log of the Los Alamitos News-Enterprise lists a call from a Cypress resident about a suspicious person in the backyard of a neighbor. It turned out that the visitor said she was only “returning a duck.” There must be a Quackenbush joke in there somewhere.

UNREAL ESTATE: In today’s special shopping section (see accompanying), this column offers you:

* An estate with a “waiting pool” (contributed by Rich Stewart, who figures it’s “a place where impatient guests can cool their heels”).

* A residence with “enchanted weeds” (also from Stewart). Further proof that weeds are really just underappreciated plants.

* A condo sign that appears to have been altered to give it an X-rated quality (photo by Oscar Celli). How enchanting.

And, finally,

* Some rental units that may require scuba gear (Alexander McMaster).

MULTIPLE-CHOICE: Regarding the patient instructed to mark “Yes” on the elbow that was to be operated upon and “No” on the other, Joel Hill of San Bernardino writes:

“When I was having surgery the doctor asked me before I was put under [which knee was being operated on] and when I told her it was the left knee, she put an X on my left foot and wrote ‘Wrong’ on my right. I thought it was amusing but then again I was already filled with that ‘joy juice’ stuff.”

PEELING BACK: The selling price of Altadena’s 25-year-old Banana Museum is slipping.

Owner Ken Bannister, who originally wanted $920,000 for his 17,000 banana artifacts as well as his trademarks and Web domains, says he’ll now take $800,000.

“You can tell that I am getting ready to split,” commented the top banana.

Bannister, who runs the museum (open by appointment only) in a commercial storefront, said he’s in negotiations with one prospect who wants to move the museum to Las Vegas.

Would it be called, “Banana Banana”?

“DUH!” REPORT: Don Mann of Malibu reports that a redundant sign that stood at the entrance to a metered freeway onramp in Hollywood has been removed. It said: “Do not stop on green.”

MOTHER’S DAZE: Little did Fox-TV sports anchor Keith Olbermann ever think that he would report a baseball story involving his mother. But that’s what happened after she was hit in the stands by a wild throw by New York Yankee infielder Chuck Knoblauch.

Onetime L.A. newsman Goldy Norton recalled a similar incident of years ago when Cleveland’s Bob Feller served up a pitch to a Detroit infielder who hit a foul ball that struck Feller’s mother in the stands.

“And,” added Norton, “it was Mother’s Day.”

miscelLAny:

Chuck Coughlin of Westminster says he decided against ordering the soup of the day in one restaurant when he saw it listed as “Beef Barely.”

*

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A., 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.