It’s Not the Money, It’s the Stupidity
Charles Piccaro Sr. has been the unwilling participant in a strange game of telephone company tag. It began when he tried to close his GTE account and the company said fine but it owed him 8 cents.
Piccaro, a Manhattan Beach resident (who shared his paperwork with this column), phoned the company to decline the windfall. But a GTE rep told him “that was impossible.” GTE would have to send him a check.
And in due time, the 8-cent refund arrived.
A week later, Piccaro received a second check for 8 cents.
Then came an additional bill. Yup, it said Piccaro owed GTE 8 cents.
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A SIGN THAT’S TOO REVEALING: Times photographer Rick Meyer noticed a pantyhose sign in L.A. that had a run of bad spelling.
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BOTH SERVE FAT CATS: Observing a “Banker/Pastry Cooks” category in a classified ad (see accompanying), Ken Brock of Upland commented, “Well, I suppose they’re both used to working with dough.”
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SOBER UP! Fred Hillman saw a cruise company’s gift suggestion for kids that made him wonder if the ad writer had sampled some of the product (see accompanying).
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HOW DID HE EVER GET HIRED? At a Southland rental car outlet, a young clerk was typing out the information for a middle-age customer. When the customer said he worked for a hospital, the clerk asked for his job title.
“Well, I’m the CEO,” he responded.
The clerk requested some ID, whereupon he showed her his driver’s license and a credit card. Then the clerk said, “We need one additional ID--something like a Blockbuster card.”
Unbelievable as it might seem, the CEO did not possess a Blockbuster card. He got the car anyway.
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IF A CHAIR FALLS IN THE FOREST . . . : Leah Relth, the accountant for a San Juan Capistrano firm, ordered chairs from an office supply company. When the furniture hadn’t arrived after several weeks, she canceled the order and bought some from another company. Then the original company billed her. She phoned to explain the situation and reports the following conversation:
Clerk: “So the chairs were never delivered?”
Relth: “No.”
Clerk: “Can you give me the date that the chairs weren’t delivered?”
Relth: “Huh?”
Clerk: “On what date were the items not received?”
Relth: “The items were always not received.”
Clerk: “I understand that, but I need to put down a date that you didn’t get the merchandise.”
She finally picked her son Michael’s birthday out of thin air and that satisfied the clerk.
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FOOD FOR THOUGHT: On a stop in Fresno, I noticed that one restaurant has a type of sign I’ve never seen in L.A. When lit, it notifies potential customers: “Immediate Seating Available.” It reminds me of the dining philosophy of the old football coach Bum Phillips. He always said his favorite restaurant was the first one he saw without a line of people waiting to be seated.
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YOU KNOW YOU’RE IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA WHEN . . . : As I attempted to drive home from work on my first day back from vacation, I encountered SigAlerts on both my routes: the 605 and Long Beach freeways. I took the 710, turned off early at Long Beach Boulevard and was nearly sideswiped by another motorist.
Mayday! Mayday!
miscelLAny:
Just a note to say it was gratifying to return from vacation and hear from all the readers who feared I’d been fired. At least I think it was gratifying.
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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.
