O.C. Music

As a teen, Christian pop singer-songwriter Jennifer Knapp says, she was too busy indulging in sex and alcohol to think much about God. So when her interest in religion was awakened in college, the key issue wasn’t what she thought of God, but what she feared God thought of her.

“I’ve screwed up majorly in my life,” Knapp, 26, said, “so the ultimate questions became, ‘Can God forgive how contrary I am to his holiness?’ . . . And, ‘Am I a person of value who can be loved by God despite my flaws?’ ”

Knapp is a rising star in Christian music--she won the 1999 Dove Award as Christian music’s new artist of the year--but such worries continue to creep into her thoughts. They are also addressed on her 1997 debut album, “Kansas,” named for the state of her birth, and her new “Lay It Down” CD.

But voicing her doubts is one thing that doesn’t worry her.

“Oftentimes Christianity is misunderstood . . . that [perception] that we have all the answers and that everything will be perfect if you’re a believer,” Knapp said from a Boise, Idaho stop on a tour that comes to Melodyland in Anaheim on Saturday. She shares the bill with Third Day, a Christian band influenced by Southern rock. “That’s just not true.

“Furthermore, there’s the notion that any kind of examination or doubt is inappropriate. I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t have a question about the uncertainty that the next day holds. Without that ability to probe deeper, I wouldn’t have found the answers that led me to Christ.”

That path began in the early ‘90s, when she was a freshman at Pittsburg State University in Kansas. At the time, Knapp says, Christianity was the furthest thing from her mind. She considered God as more of a myth than any kind of concrete power in her life.

She even confesses to mocking some Christian classmates or those living in her dorm.

“As I got to know these particular students as real human beings and watched them cling to the hope God held out in solving the mysteries in their lives, it really impacted me. It’s hard to explain, but I couldn’t deny that some other presence existed in their lives. It intrigued me, particularly as I came to recognize my own brokenness--and just how far away I was from hope and happiness.”

Still, despite the awakening, her spiritual transformation was hardly easy.

“I had to be willing to admit vulnerability and weakness,” said Knapp, who can sound like a melancholy Natalie Merchant one moment, a husky-voiced Melissa Etheridge the next.

Because she doesn’t feel privy to the answers to life’s mysteries, Knapp often uses oblique or cryptic lyrics to share her testaments of faith and forgiveness, sin and salvation.

“Spirituality isn’t something most people deal with in a public forum,” she said. “It’s more personal, and there is a shy part of me that doesn’t want to open up that much. I want to provide the kind of mystery that doesn’t reveal all of the details--but enough so the listener can make the experience transferable.”

On “Lay It Down,” Knapp, who lives in Ann Arbor, Mich., offers a broad mix of heartland rock, folk, funk and soul, from hard-rocking anthems (“Into You”) to mandolin-flavored alt-folk (“When Nothing Satisfies”) to the soft, almost jazzy tones of an emotionally charged ballad (“Usher Me Down”).

“My friends and I used to listen to a lot of R.E.M., the B-52s, the Indigo Girls . . . rockin’ stuff like that,” she said. “But then I’d hear something by Suzanne Vega or Joni Mitchell, and they seemed like kindred spirits to me because of the type of [emotional] place that they wrote from.

“Sometimes I wonder, though, if it’s a betrayal to music to not embrace one style. I am concerned, too, about the new [album] having a musical identity crisis. But I don’t think I really have the ability to stick to one thing, so I just do whatever feels natural to me.”

“Kansas” has sold nearly 350,000 copies, and with her pop and rock leanings, Knapp appears to have the potential to reach a wider audience.

Does she want to?

“Although I obviously feel comfortable playing before like-minded people, I wouldn’t say I only want Christians to listen to me,” Knapp said. “You may not embrace my message, but I think there are other worthwhile aspects to what I do. Good music is good music.

“In playing three or four Lilith Fair dates last year, I realized that I could be myself as long as I’m willing to not demand that the entire world believe as I do. That experience allowed me to connect with people outside of my circle, and that’s a healthy thing. It kind of forces you to lay yourself on the line a little bit.”

BE THERE

Jennifer Knapp and Third Day play Saturday at the Melodyland Christian Center, 400 W. Freedman Way, Anaheim. 3:30 and 7 p.m. $17.50-$19.50. (408) 369-8222.