Away With That Hi-Yo Silver Notion
Every columnist has a devoted following of readers seemingly dedicated to questioning the scribe’s every statement. (Or is it just me?) Anyway, I thought I could get away from my interrogators while on vacation until I read of a dispute in a Dave Barry column over what the Lone Ranger said to his faithful steed.
Barry had written it was “Hi-yo, Silver, away.” But reader Lloyd Peyton told Barry it was “Hi-ho, Silver, away!”
With a slight chill, I recognized Peyton’s name as that of the Silver Lake resident who has often clashed with me.
It was Peyton who corrected me when I misquoted the cry of the train conductor on the Jack Benny radio show (“Anaheim, Azusa and KOOK-a-monga!”). And it was Peyton who disproved my theory that the 1940s song “Flat-Foot Floogie with the Floy-Floy” referred to a streetwalker.
He was correct about the Lone Ranger, too, as Barry admitted after checking with several noted authorities, including horror novelist Stephen King.
I phoned Peyton to congratulate him, secretly relieved I was not involved in Barry’s misfortune.
“You made the same mistake a couple of years ago,” Peyton told me. “I wrote you but you never answered my letter.”
Silver, away!
SPEAKING OF STEPHEN KING: On a UCLA Internet site Renee Cordrey of Glendale noticed several errors, including an eerie reference to the “deadliness” of the merchandise (see accompanying). “I hope the proofreaders weren’t graduates,” Cordrey said.
OFF-KEY: But the most noticed typo while I was on vacation, according to my mail, was a flat-foot flier that renamed Handel’s “Hallelujah Chorus.” It drew a chorus of gibes from Rudy Beebe of L.A., Jan Witherspoon of Glendale, Sally Brown of Costa Mesa and more than a dozen other readers (see accompanying).
LIFT THE CURSE!--Don’t know if you’re aware of this but each of the Lakers’ playoff losses in Sacramento was preceded by a ceremony in the Kings’ arena in which a Lakers’ jersey was set on fire. Clearly disgusted, Lakers broadcaster Chick Hearn promised there would be no burning of a Kings’ jersey before Friday night’s game at Staples Center.
OK, but what type of ritual could put the hex back on the Kings? I want you fans to let me know pronto today (see e-mail, fax and phone numbers at end of column). I’ll get it into print for the benefit of Lakers officials Friday.
In honor of Staples, I guess someone could roll an office chair over a Kings jersey. Maybe you can think of something better.
IF THE HEX DOESN’T WORK. . . . Should the Lakers be eliminated in the first round of the playoffs Friday in what would be a monumental upset, they clearly would have to move to another city.
Where?
Why, the town where ex-L.A. teams win world championships, of course: St. Louis.
SAY AAH, AL: George W. Bush topped Al Gore by a 2-1 margin in the “most trustworthy” smile category in a vote taken at a California Dental Assn. gathering in the Anaheim Convention Center.
Not only that but Dr. Kent Farnsworth, the CDA president, opined that although Gore had the whiter smile it appeared that he “may have benefited from professional teeth whitening. . . . “
Too bad it’s too late for Ken Starr to investigate.
PLEASE MR. TAX MAN: We all know that neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night can stop mail carriers from delivering to the wrong addresses. Just kidding! When you consider the millions of pieces of mail delivered each day, the postal system is a wonder.
What more can we ask of its employees? Well, Anne Morgan is still chuckling over the special request made by a customer at the post office on the last day for filing tax returns.
Morgan overhead a clerk at the window answer the customer thusly: “No sir, I’m sorry, we do not do taxes here. There is a place a block down where you can get your taxes done, and you can come back and mail them here.”
miscelLAny:
I must admit that I’m on the side of management in the strike by actors in television and radio commercials. In fact, I believe that the networks should retaliate by ceasing to broadcast all commercials for an indefinite period.
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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.