LAUGH LINES
“The president and Mrs. Clinton spent the weekend with old friends in Little Rock, Ark., raising $100,000 for her New York Senate campaign. It’s kind of a switch for them--usually when Bill and Hillary get together with old friends in Arkansas, it’s to raise bail money for somebody.” (Jay Leno)
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The Essential
David Letterman
Top Signs You’re Watching
a Bad Gladiator Movie
10. Computer-animated tiger freezes--thanks to ILoveYou virus.
9. “Ancient Rome” looks an awful lot like downtown Yonkers.
8. The rebel gladiators hold their meetings at the Olive Garden.
7. The “chariots”: Dodge Neons with the roofs cut off.
6. Accusations that the matches have been fixed by promoter Donus Kingus.
5. During a battle, one gladiator yells, “Car!” and they all have to let the traffic through.
4. Julius Caesar assassinated by Puff Daddy.
2. It’s three hours of guys in their underwear shooting rubber bands at one another.
1. It’s about the fall of Roma Downey.
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