Calling Martha Stewart, Stat!

A Saturday night walk down UCLA’s fraternity row proves that the party rages on. But with colleges and universities cracking down on campus-affiliated debauchery, we wondered just how much the fraternity party has changed. We asked 21-year-old Kent Schofield, a UCLA junior and vice president of the UCLA chapter of Sigma Alpha Epsilon, the largest fraternity in the country, to educate us about the planning and etiquette of a successful house party.

Invitations: We don’t really ever do that. Usually we do a row walk. We’ll send three or four guys over to a sorority and they’ll talk it up. They’ll say how good we are and how big the party is going to be.

Guest Makeup: Ideally 60% girls and 40% guys. You want more girls than guys. But it’s gotta be fairly close, otherwise the girls don’t enjoy themselves and they leave.

Attire: Juniors and seniors tend more to the Sunset Strip look: Kenneth Cole, Ralph Lauren. Freshmen wear more beach garb: Quiksilver and that stuff. If you were dressed like an absolute slob, though, you probably wouldn’t get into the party. No white tee and sweat pants and flip-flops, unless the theme is white trash.

Togas: We can’t have togas. School rule: No toga parties.

Food: Chips is the basic thing. And dip, salsa and stuff. We are frat guys. We can’t make anything. We just buy what’s in a can or bottle and go for it. For us to pour something into a bowl is a big deal.

Drink: We have sodas, because despite what everyone might think, not everyone drinks. Water, too. BYOB is the rule here at UCLA. The drink of choice is probably Coors or Budweiser. It has to be canned. We can’t have glass bottles or kegs; that’s UCLA rules and national fraternity rules.

Centerpieces: Pretty much lacking.

Decorations: Pretty basic. We have it dark for the most part. The DJ will have lights and fog. Last time the DJ guy brought colored spotlights and set up a projection camera playing a cartoon on the side of the house.

Music: Normally rap or hip-hop, more rave-type trance music. Girls like some ‘N Sync or something like that. Most of the guys boo, though they like dancing to it. But they have to pretend they don’t.

Party favors: Not that I can think of.