LAUGH LINES

In the News: “Anchor Bernard Shaw is leaving CNN . . . to concentrate on his family and writing books. Shaw denies he’s being forced out by CNN, saying he told Ted Turner months ago that he was leaving. Shaw was criticized for CNN’s lackluster election night coverage. If that’s the criteria, then [Dan] Rather, [Tom] Brokaw and [Peter] Jennings would all be looking for work.” (Daily Scoop)

Pen Pals: “Britney Spears is teaming up with her mom [for] a new book. Her mom’s involvement is minimal--she’s just going to help Britney sound out the big words.” (Ira Lawson)

Make It Count: “This election is affecting businesses too. Today, Burger King demanded a recount. It turns out that McDonald’s was 11,000 short of 100 billion.” (Jay Leno)

Milestone Birthday : “Tonya Harding just turned 30. . . . She celebrated in the usual way--by going clubbing.” (Andrew Wisot)

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