Is Anything Memorable Ever Said in Debates?

Quick, quote something from a debate.

Go on. Pick a debate, any debate. Lincoln vs. Douglas. Nixon vs. Kennedy. Lazio vs. Rodham Clinton.

I’m waiting.

“And you’re no Jack Kennedy.”

Good. That’s one.

OK, who said it?

Tick, tock.

Lloyd . . . Lloyd something . . .

Bentsen?

There you go. Now quote me another.

I’m waiting.

“There you go again.”

Very good. Mr. Reagan’s line.

To whom?

Jimmy Carter? Or Walter Mondale?

Are you sure?

Correct answer: Reagan sprung it on both. It worked so well in the first debate, he dragged it out of mothballs for the second.

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A majority of Americans might have a better memory of some of the Miller brewing company’s “Less Filling” vs. “Great Taste” debates than they do of these face-to-face political squabbles.

I can be helpful as to when some of the great debates occurred.

Honest Abe’s first big point / counterpoint with Stephen A. Douglas took place Aug. 21, 1858.

(NBC televised it a day later. Sorry, that’s an Olympic joke.)

Tricky Dick’s famous joust with that handsome and heroic Camelot character was held Sept. 25, 1960.

All anybody seems to remember of Nixon’s TV appearance was his appearance. His 5 o’clock shadow. The thick makeup that made him perspire like a Georgia convict working on a chain gang. Those quirky, quaking Capt. Queeg mannerisms.

But you know what?

A number of people thought Nixon did just fine in his JFK debate. The columnist Joseph Alsop, for one, wrote: “Neither man fell flat on his face. Neither even stumbled . . . both were, in fact, enormously impressive, each in his different and characteristic way. For this very reason, it is hard to believe that the debate was at all decisive.”

As the historian Doris Kearns Goodwin observed, however, the debate had been decisive because: “70 million Americans received their first exposure to Jack Kennedy as a presidential candidate during that debate. And from that point on, he was met by huge, wildly enthusiastic crowds at nearly every stop.”

Yet it is difficult to recall a single word JFK said that night.

Nor was anything special spoken by Nixon, a guy who uttered some pretty memorable lines in his time: The Checkers speech. “You won’t have Dick Nixon to kick around.” “I am not a crook.” “Sock it to me.”

Actions spoke louder.

Or reactions. Kennedy looking presidential, despite his youth. Nixon looking nonplused, despite his savvy.

But did anything significant get said? Does anything important ever get said at these things?

Historically, our debate knowledge is shaky. Many forget that Lincoln-Douglas wasn’t even a presidential candidate debate. Their platform debates on slavery came in their Illinois senatorial race.

And by the way, history fans, that election was won by Sen. Douglas.

Lincoln did make an impression in 1858, though, just as JFK would 102 years later. Debate audiences don’t listen; they watch. They look for cracks in the armor, wait for telltale signs of strength.

Rick Lazio recently went toe-to-toe with his senate foe in New York--literally. He all but rushed Hillary Rodham Clinton. And he was praised or condemned for his debate behavior--”Made her look bad.” “Tried to bully her.”--not for his words.

Perceptions. That’s what people come away with from debates.

The words themselves?

Well, all I can think of is an old cartoon about what cats and dogs can hear. Humans say: “Do you want to go outside, kitty?” Or: “That’s a good dog.” But what cats and dogs hear is: “Blah blah blah blah blah.”

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Al Gore: “Blah blah blah improve education blah blah blah.”

George W. Bush: “Blah blah blah put children first blah blah blah.”

Gore: “Blah blah soft money blah blah.”

Bush: “Blah blah across-the-board tax cut blah blah.”

Gore: “Blah blah Lincoln Bedroom blah blah.”

Bush: “Blah blah subliminal blah blah.”

We might not remember a word.

But maybe the first one to make the other look bad wins.

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Mike Downey’s column appears Sundays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Write to: Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA 90012. E-mail: mike.downey@latimes.com