LAUGH LINES

Chew on This: “A German psychologist said . . . that women can tell how good a man is in bed by watching him eat dinner. If he eats fast and takes large bites, probably pretty boring. If he picks at his food like a bird, not very passionate. If he eats in his underwear over the sink while watching TV, probably your husband.” (Jay Leno)

Worldly Lessons: “The majority of viewers thought that George W. Bush won the second presidential debate, based largely on his stand on foreign affairs. . . . Before he started cramming for the debate, [Bush] thought foreign policy was life insurance that’s underwritten in Europe.” (Ira Lawson)

Don’t Count Him Out: “A U.S. judge ruled Ralph Nader’s name must appear on the Ohio ballot. The judge said Nader was duly nominated and he can’t be considered a frivolous candidate. . . . That didn’t keep George W. Bush off the ballot.” (Argus Hamilton)

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.