LAUGH LINES

Mr. Moneybags: “The Lakers gave Shaq a contract extension believed to be worth more than $88 million over the next three years. His other contract is like $120-$125 million. They said the idea is to make Shaq so wealthy, he won’t even think about making another rap album.” (Jay Leno)

Lucky Numbers: “Thirteen employees at an L.A. Starbucks will share an $87 million lottery jackpot. One player said she could now afford a new car. Another said he could put a down payment on a house. A third said she could now pay for a mocha Frappuccino.” (Jerry Perisho)

Countdown: “George W. Bush performed the Top 10 List on David Letterman. . . . He wanted to reassure supporters that if he is given the power to launch nuclear missiles, he can count backward from 10.” (Argus Hamilton)

Rude Awakenings: “Scientists were able to bring prehistoric germs back to life after about 250 million years in a deep sleep. Maybe there’s hope for the Clippers.” (Kenny Noble Cortes)

Irreplaceable: “Anna Nicole Smith told ‘Entertainment Tonight’ that she doesn’t know if she will ever marry again. She says there isn’t another man out there like her late husband. Let me tell you--if there were another single 90-year-old sick billionaire out there, she would have found him.” (Leno)

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.