A Convention Prank That Almost Worked

Remember the Citizens Against Breast-Feeding group that demonstrated at the Democratic National Convention? Well, you were correct if you were skeptical about the group, especially the member who said in a radio interview that, because his mother had nursed him, he was obsessed with oral gratification and needed to smoke two packs of cigarettes a day.

The San Fernando Valley Folklore Society, which debunks urban folk tales, investigated and found the movement is a hoax linked to Alan Abel, noted East Coast prankster. Abel has founded such fictitious projects as a school for panhandlers, the World Sex Olympics (couples would compete for points on style and endurance) and a campaign to clothe animals.

The slogan of that last group, by the way, was “A nude horse is a rude horse!”

SPEAKING OF PRANKSTERS: Steve Morgan of Northridge noticed that someone painted out a letter on a laundry sign, making it appear to have a special (and scary) clientele (see photo).

ACTUALLY, THEY WOULD BE LESS LIKELY TO SPEED: Ken Price of Newhall, meanwhile, came upon the ad of an auto insurance company which, like voter registration folks in Chicago, would enroll the deceased (see accompanying).

YOU’VE GOT A LONG WAY TO GO, BABY: Air France’s decision to make all flights nonsmoking effective Nov. 1 seems to have alarmed some travelers in that country, if not elsewhere. Dr. Donald Crocker of Orange read in the airline’s magazine a guarantee that “nicotine substitutes (2 mg. microtabs) will be available from flight attendants on all long-haul flights.”

WHAT WERE THEY SMOKING? One course offered by an L.A. culinary school caught the eye of Bill Tierney of Hermosa Beach inasmuch as it said the “birds” to be cooked would “include turkey, hen, rabbit. . . .”

JUST WAIT TILL THE INTEREST RATES GO UP: A reference to a new type of rage was noticed by writer Cathy Franklin (see accompanying).

KNIGHT RAGE: Ousted Indiana basketball coach Bobby Knight said he might be accepting a job offer soon. But I don’t think the temperamental Knight was referring to the offer that Loyola Bannon of Huntington Park spotted in a 99 Cents Only store ad. That one said: “Mr. Bobby Knight, we have an opening for a security guard. 99 cents per hour.”

MOWER DRAMA: There was no immediate word on whether the operators of Pasadena’s offbeat Doo Dah Parade would sue the Sydney Olympics for copying one of its acts in the opening ceremony: a lawn-mower drill team of men in shorts and Hawaiian shirts. The home gardeners were saluting Australian suburban life.

Thanks goodness the Olympics spectators didn’t copy Doo Dah spectators and start throwing tortillas at the drill team.

TV OF THE ABSURD: I love NBC’s silly, drama-packed radio commercials for the tape-delayed Olympics--coming just a few minutes after the live results have been given by radio reporters. One asked: “Will Australian swimmer Ian ‘the Thorpedo’ Thorpe win a third gold medal Monday night?”

Uh, no, NBC.

miscelLAny:

Joyce-Ruth Bunkin of Thousand Oaks saw a police log item out of that city about a report of possible animal cruelty. No arrests were made. The victim turned out to be a stuffed toy.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A., 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.