LAUGH LINES

Oh, Rats!: “Apparently, the [George W.] Bush campaign got caught using subliminal advertising. . . . In one of their ads attacking bureaucrats, they used a subliminal message, ‘rats.’ At the end of ‘bureaucrats,’ they kept flashing ‘rats.’ Isn’t that a shame? Bush’s first three-syllable word and [he] gets in trouble with it.” (Jay Leno)

The Outlaws: Regarding Emmy winners “The West Wing” and “The Sopranos”: “One show is about a bunch of immoral thugs operating outside the law. . . . The other show is about the Mafia.” (Alex Kaseberg)

Word Play: “Democrats are charging that Republicans are running this commercial with subliminal messages in it. Have you heard about this thing. . . . Briefly, the word ‘rat’ appears in this commercial. So George W. Bush is embarrassed and says, ‘No, no, no, no. The word “rat” is a complete mistake. It’s supposed to be the word a------.’ ” (David Letterman)

Hush Hush: “The 53rd anniversary of the CIA came and went without much hoopla. There was no cake, no ice cream, no party--and nobody knew anything about it.” (Kenny Noble Cortes)

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