The Tough Answer: Fight Back

Sgt. Chris Nunez, who has been teaching crime prevention for most of his 19 years at the Buena Park Police Department, says there’s one question his experience can’t answer:

What does a woman do when confronted by sexual assault?

“It’s almost the unanswerable question,” Nunez said.

Put a roomful of police officers together, he said, and you’ll get a roomful of varying answers. But Nunez can advise you what he tells his own three daughters. In most instances, the best answer is to fight back.

And most who work in the field of rape prevention or counseling echo that advice.

Submission to assure your eventual safety was taught for years. But it’s not the option that most women are taking these days, says Dawn Foor , who teaches safety awareness for women through the Orange County Community Services Agency.

“At least 80% of attacks are prevented by a woman defending herself in some way,” said Foor. “Either they fight off their attacker or they convince him they’ll resist.”

But if you do fight back, says Michelle Irwin, crime prevention specialist for the Anaheim Police Department, “Fight with all your might. You’d better not just try to step on his foot, because that will just make him angry.”

Local experts say that one out of three women will be confronted with sexual assault at some point in her lifetime.

You may look around where you work, see a dozen women you’ve known for years and think that one-in-three statistic is a bit extreme. But Stuart Haskin, a martial arts instructor who specializes in self-defense for women, says that’s because it’s not a subject discussed in front of others.

“I can put together a random class of 15 women, and if I leave the room, you can bet there will be war stories among the whole group,” he said. “Either they were in trouble themselves or they know someone who was.”

College student Netta Shaked of Mission Viejo also once thought that number seemed high. But then she was in a diversity workshop where she was one of 10 women.

“I learned that three of the others had been sexually assaulted; two of them I’d known for a long time and would never have guessed it,” she said.

Going through her teen years, Shaked never worried much about issues like rape.

“I always thought of myself as invincible,” she said. But becoming more aware of incidents as she reached college age, Shaked decided to enroll in one of the Community Services Program’s safety awareness classes--and learned maybe she wasn’t so invincible after all.

“If I do ever have to face that situation, I am 200% more confident now that I would know what to do,” she said.

A survey of police departments throughout the county shows that nobody is willing to answer the question directly. But Stacy Margolin, who works for the Tustin Police Department and is president of the state Crime Prevention Officers Assn., is a strong advocate of classes like the one Shaked took to help women come up with their own answers.

“It might help make women more aware at least of what options are available to them,” Margolin said.

Several places offer such courses besides the Community Services Program. Cypress College and Golden West College in Huntington Beach, for example, offer safety classes aimed at women. But all stress the same message: There’s no perfect answer.

The most difficult situations, of course, are those in which the attacker is armed in some way. The experts can only tell women to trust their instincts. But they don’t disagree if those instincts tell you to resist anyway.

“If someone with a gun motions you to get into a vehicle, you have little chance of surviving alive anyway if you get into his car,” Irwin said. “You may have a better chance if you go ahead and try to defend yourself; at least distract him to the point where you can get away.”

Cindy Nagamatsu-Hanlon, community liaison director for Garden Grove police, refers to the situation as primary and secondary crime scenes: “If he’s trying to get you to go to a secondary crime scene, it’s because he doesn’t plan to let you survive to be a witness. Do whatever it takes to resist being taken somewhere else.”

All the experts agree there is much that a woman can do to reduce her vulnerability to attack. Here are some ways:

* Be aware of your surroundings.

“How many times while you’re filling up your car’s gas tank do you just watch the numbers go around?” Foor points out. “We want women to keep their eyes open. Be alert and know who’s around you.”

Shaked says her whole approach to life is different now. “Walking around my college campus, I always looked at the ground,” she said. “Not anymore. Have a safety zone. If someone walking violates your safety zone, cross the street if you have to.”

* Improve your body language.

“The attacker is looking for someone who is vulnerable,” said Nagamatsu-Hanlon. “If someone comes up to you, touches your arm and asks what time it is, let him know by your body language that you’re offended at being touched. He may decide to move on to someone else.”

* Make noise.

Try a whistle that can be attached to a key chain. “The attacker doesn’t want anyone else around,” Foor said. “Sometimes a whistle can scare him off.”

One thing almost nobody teaches now is to yell “help.” The word “help” is almost like the warning sounds of a car alarm: They go off so often, people don’t pay attention.

What’s taught now is to tell the attacker loudly, “BACK OFF!” Those two words will usually get the attention of anyone within hearing distance. It also alerts the attacker that you plan to resist.

* Carry defense sprays.

Most law enforcement agencies now recommend pepper spray over the use of Mace. But make sure you know what you’re doing, crime prevention officer Margolin warns.

“Some women, in a panic, accidentally spray their own face instead of the attacker,” she said.

Also, make sure your defense spray is within easy access. You don’t have time for a purse search.

State law used to require classes before pepper spray could be purchased. They’re not required now, but Margolin recommends them anyway--or at least a lengthy demonstration by the seller.

Patrick Felkner, who is in charge of pepper spray sales at the Uniform Center in Orange, says both his mother and sister carry it for walks. And he does teach his customers the right way to use it.

“It works better than a stun gun,” he said. “One burst and an attacker’s eyes will sting and start watering.”

That gives you time to get away.

* Consider physical self-defense.

“We don’t expect a 120-pound woman to knock a 200-pound man comatose,” Foor said. “But we can teach a woman moves that will allow her to disable him temporarily. That gives her time to escape.”

And that’s the goal of self-defense for women: Do what it takes to get away.

But there’s a message on a higher plane from these classes, more than just technique teaching.

What people like Foor and Haskin want women to come away with is renewed self-confidence. “Rape is about the loss of power,” she said. “We want to empower women.”

Haskin, whose group is called Project Get Safe, recalls one student who had been a victim who froze the first time the instructor touched her. But after four weekly class sessions, he said, “We were laughing together, and she had no hesitation at all when I had to touch her shoulder. She’d regained her self-confidence.”

And that’s the part of the job, says Foor, that “makes my heart sing. As the classes progress, you can see it in their faces; they’re taking control again.”

What kinds of women take these safety classes?

Recently a woman brought all three of her young daughters, ages 11 to 17, and the four of them took the class. The entire staff of the county’s Child Abuse Services Team recently took it. Single women take it. Seniors.

But the vast majority are “survivors.”

That’s the preferred term over “victim.” But they are rape or sexual assault victims who take the class in hopes it will help them avoid ever going through such trauma again.

“They do a lot of second-guessing,” said Foor. “But we tell them, look, if you survived to be alive and breathing again the next day, whatever you did was right.”

Some women ask if they should carry their own gun for protection. It depends on your personal view, but rape prevention counselors are firmly against it. You are more likely to wind up getting shot if you have a weapon the attacker can get his hands on.

What many fail to understand is that most rapes and sexual assaults do not come from the criminal lurking in the bushes. In the vast majority of cases, experts all agree, women are attacked by someone they know, a neighbor, perhaps, or someone on a date.

Shaked believes she’s better prepared in those situations because of what she’s learned in her safety classes. “It’s better to be rude than put yourself in danger,” she said. “Don’t be afraid to say to someone you’re dating, ‘Just back off.’ ”

Shaked reflects the advice she’s been taught: “Trust your instincts.”

But Sgt. Nunez of the Buena Park police expands on that: Make a point of becoming more aware of the potential for danger around you so you’ll become more mentally prepared.

“If you do,” he said, “Then you’re in a better position to develop instincts in advance.”

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Tally of Violence

Statistics on assaults in Orange County in 1998: