What’s Up With the Catalog, Doc?
“Only in L.A. can a major university feature a cartoon on the cover of its catalog,” writes P. Chester Daley of Porter Ranch (see accompanying).
Maybe UCLA students will stop making jokes about all the Mickey Mouse courses offered at USC.
MAYBE ARCHITECTURAL DIGEST IS A FOOD MAGAZINE: Lucy Thomson of L.A. noticed an ad for a bed frame made from a common hors d’oeuvre (see accompanying).
WARNING--DO NOT EAT THIS ITEM: A reader sent me a copy of an amusing column from the Washington Post about “label yarns”--nonsensical product warnings that get passed around on the Internet but aren’t for real.
Among the 18 listed were:
On a hotel’s shower cap box: “Fits one head.”
On many brands of Christmas lights: “For indoor or outdoor use only.”
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: “Do not iron clothes on body.”
On Nytol Sleep Aid: “Warning: May cause drowsiness.”
On a tube of Crest toothpaste: “If swallowed, contact poison control.”
On a hair dryer: “Do not use while sleeping.”
The column concluded: “If it sounds too funny to be true, it probably isn’t.”
On the other hand . . .
. . . UPON FURTHER INVESTIGATION: Some of the “label yarns” sounded familiar so I did a bit of checking. My findings:
* I didn’t see a Nytol notation about drowsiness. But Tylenol’s Simply Sleep package says: “This product will cause drowsiness.” Rite Aid Fast Sleep and Unisom SleepTales have similar warnings.
* My tube of Crest says: “If you accidentally swallow more than used for brushing, seek professional help or contact a poison control center immediately.”
* And, finally, I came upon past testimony from several readers about the hair dryer warning. In fact, one who sent me a copy (see accompanying) was Superior Court Judge Judith Chirlin.
MORE EFFECTIVE THAN NYTOL: The last time I mentioned the warning about hair dryers, some readers told me that they turn them on when they go to bed in hotel rooms to muffle the outside noise.
L.A. INSULT OF THE DAY: Seattle’s recent woes--an earthquake, the departures of Boeing and shortstop Alex Rodriguez, etc.--have prompted few get well cards from the rest of the nation, observed novelist David Guterson, a Seattle-area resident. Rather, “there is perhaps some satisfaction that Seattle is getting its comeuppance,” he wrote in the New York Times.
Guterson said Seattle is attracting “the kind of hostility long reserved for Los Angeles. La-La Land and Latte Land now seem to be equal targets of ridicule.”
Don’t worry, Seattle. You’ll get used to it after a while.
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT: Nervous workers who sneaked out to see the daytime Dodger opener may not have been reassured by the sight of one plane circling the stadium. It advertised a job placement firm.
miscelLAny:
I wish I’d never found out about that Crest toothpaste warning.
*
Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A., 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.