A Punk Rock Salute to Joey Ramone

Sunday night at Bar Marmont we said adios amigo to punk’s founding father, Joey Ramone. With many of his New York friends in the house, a tearful Coyote Shivers deejayed all Ramones, all night, pausing only for a midnight show by Marmont hostess Constance, who had known Joey since the ‘70s.

People swapped punk rock war stories and poured a little liquor out for their homie. Pleasant dreams, bro. . . . Since it was Easter Sunday, I put on a Playboy bunny T-shirt and took mi madre a-clubbing. It was all a setup. I told the scene’s rock stars to come meet me mum and say nice things about me. Such saucy scene queens as Christina Carey, Lady Miss Ashleigh, Cat Rodriguez and Pauley Perrette showered her with girl-power love and she even got a chance to chit-chat with Andre Balazs, who permanently ended the spell-check misery I suffer each time I type his last name. “Think Zsa Zsa,” he whispered. Oui oui!

Name this tune: “Took a trip on a rocket ship, got so high that I almost flipped, looks like the sun won’t shine today.” If you guessed Motochrist’s “Sun Won’t Shine,” you’d be correct. I got my head-banging jollies on Saturday as Motochrist shredded at the Garage in Silver Lake.

Guitarist Ricky Vodka hipped me to Pure Rubbish, a hot rock band from Texas who played the following night at Goldfingers. The entire band was sporting Ramones T-shirts and they too were nice to my mom. . . . We tootled over to Beauty Bar where Tracy & the Hindenburg Ground Crew was holding court in the VIP lounge. An ideal location for a court jester. . . . Ended up in the ER this week after suffering a panic attack so severe I thought I was exiting the metaphorical building. And to think, I just switched to decaf. . . . A hotty totty tells me one of Ozzy’s kids got tossed out of the Troubadour after flashing what appeared to be a questionable ID. Wait a minute: I thought the Troub was all ages. . . . Found the following profundity scrawled on the men’s room wall of the Coach & Horses: “Elvis + Me = You.” If only it were so simple.