When Bad Clothes Happen To Good Parties

Occasion: Glamour magazine’s fashion “Don’t” party at Norms Restaurant in West Hollywood.

What’s Your Fashion “Don’t”? : “Black bra with a white shirt,” declares actress-model Carol Alt, showing off that very combination along with equally reprehensible “evening shoes with casual jeans.” Rather than engage in partyland’s usual couture smackdown, Glamour magazine editrix Bonnie Fuller decided to throw a bash dedicated to the fashion faux pas. The result, held at Norms on La Cienega (hey, this place is kinda cool, actually) is packed with frumpy denim skirts, polka dots and stripes, exposed bra straps and thongs, plus Kaya and Valerie from “Temptation Island.” Deejay Danny “Donkey Punch” Masterson (of “That ‘70s Show”) kitsches up the mix with “a little bad ‘80s music--a little Rick Springfield going on, a little Billy Idol, a little Poison.” Oddly, Masterson, in black T-shirt and cap, has passed up the opportunity to raid his show’s fecund costume department. “I’m not allowed to,” he explains. “That wardrobe lady would kill us.”

The “Do” Holdouts: “I’m not into themes,” sniffs actor Geoffrey Rush, looking out of place in a sport coat and white shirt. Lukas Haas claims to have “a ‘Do’ thing going on” with his cream-colored suit and tennies--but isn’t he drinking a berry wine cooler? “I’m not,” he swears. “It’s a prop. I wanted beer. But they don’t have it.” Indeed, sifting Dos from Don’ts can be a perilous undertaking. Case in point: Rachel Leigh Cook’s embroidered handbag. “My mom made this,” she snaps. “I don’t think it’s a don’t at all.” (Oops!) But who can blame a starlet for not wanting to look less than perfect? “You can’t go all out,” says Tori Spelling, who makes do (or is that Don’t?) with camouflage shoes paired with a camo top. “Every picture is going to be taken out of context, and you’ll end up on Mr. Blackwell’s worst-dressed list. He won’t know it was a ‘Don’t’ party.”

CELEB QUOTIENT

The Marquis de Sade, Josie and one Pussycat, a Gilmore Girl, some “That ‘70s Show” kids and lots of people who were famous in the ‘80s and ‘90s.

WOW FACTOR

Clever theme, good music and a chance to see how TV personalities look when they’re forced to dress themselves.

GRAZING LEVEL

Hors d’oeuvre trays teem with tacky-but-yummy burgers, fries, onion rings and shrimp. Deliciously cheesy buffet includes brie, Swiss, mozzarella--and for purists, Kraft processed.